I recently experienced how horrible being out of your comfort zone can be.You feel completely lost and you have no idea what to do. You may want to take action but your body just won’t let you. This is at least some of what I experience. We all have different things that make us completely uncomfortable. For me it’s the weight room at my school and dancing. Other people may feel other things in different places, like the stage, or when tackling math problems. We all have these things and it’s important to recognize them, the bad habits they cause, and how we may be able to help each other out of it.

When I was in middle school I remember being at school dances and hating every minute of it. All my friends would be dancing, and I would just awkwardly stand there. It wasn’t that I was antisocial or didn’t like the music, it was that I was extremely uncomfortable. I honestly don’t know why this makes me so nervous, but it really does. I knew I looked weirder just standing there, but for some reason, I couldn’t cross that barrier in me to let go and have fun. Now, fast forward 5 years and it’s my junior prom. I warned my date in advance that I just don’t dance, and he agreed. And I felt bad the first hour or so because he was really trying to get me to dance, but just like before I just felt so uncomfortable I couldn’t. I apologized profusely, but the last hour and a half I was with a group of my friends and my prom date talked me into joining them to dance. Slowly but surely they eased me into having fun. They understood I was uncomfortable, accepted it and helped me. They had the patience to deal with me and my weird dance phobia until I was able to be comfortable and really a part of the group. Now, I wasn’t an amazing dancer or did anything crazy, but that was okay, because my friends accepted it and for the first time I actually enjoyed a dance.

That was a happy story. This year, though, I’m taking summer gym, and in the mornings we are given free time in the weight room. Now, I’m a pretty arts-oriented kid, who really doesn’t do physical activity. I don’t know anything about a weight room, and over all it’s just very intimidating. We were let loose that first day to work on whatever we wanted, but we had to work.I was lost.Completely lost. I found myself feeling the same way I did at dances: stressed. I found myself doing things I couldn’t help. I would hover around some of my friends that were more athletic, to try to join them and hopefully feel more comfortable in a group, but I knew I was annoying them. I either didn’t know how to do the things they were doing or was too self-conscious to do the things they suggested by myself. I didn’t know what to do. I started to beat myself up about the situation. I would say things like "sorry, I'm absolutely horrible at this" or just apologize for my awkwardness. I started to feel like I was upsetting my friends because I didn’t know anything about how to do what they found so easy.It wasn’t their fault, but I felt alienated from them and didn’t know what to do to not look stupid.This is self-destructive. Because I felt uncomfortable I started to try to make myself submissive by demeaning myself and therefore making me more uncomfortable and unable to do the activity. I realized this was a horrible loop to be caught in.

Now, it is important to overcome these obstacles, because they are irrational, and are really keeping you from wonderful experiences. Also, as a friend you should help others overcome their comfort zones. The friends I was with at the gym really did try to help me, but I don’t think they knew what to do. They only showed me things to do by myself, and I understand I’m mature and can find a group to work with on my own, and in my defense I did find a group with whom I could be comfortable. But there are some things you, as a friend, should keep in mind. If someone comes to you completely out of their comfort zone, it’s because they want support and help. It’s because they trust you, and if you know you can’t help them, suggest other people they can work with; for example: "Why don't you do yoga ball exercises with them?" In the end, I found others just as lost as I was to work together in activities. In these situations we have to help each other.Sometimes you have to force yourself to do something you’ve never done before, but it’s worth it.

For those who are breaking the molds of their comfort zones, do it. You will grow because of it, and it is definitely worth the pain of trying. For those who are friends, help them. We all have these things that we struggle with and maybe your helping hand will allow someone to overcome their fear. So go, make yourself attempt and make yourself lend a hand.