Only children are often seen as needy because we constantly have the attention of both of our parents. We can be seen as spoiled, lucky, annoying, and private. This is not who we are.

As an only child, I am used to having an entire room to myself, not sharing my clothes or makeup, and having the support of both of my parents at all times. I do not like to share my things, space, or details about my life with anyone. As my father says “it’s hard to teach an old dog new tricks.”. We are not spoiled, lucky, annoying or private. This does not make us bad friends or hard to get along with.

I am not spoiled

I am not spoiled. My parents have one child to raise. I have always been pushed harder in school than any aspect of life because as my grandmother would always say “An education is something no one can ever take away from you.” Everything I was “handed” in high school and beyond was due to my hard work and dedication to my studies; I earned it all. Having a learning disability didn’t make school any easier. My mother is always pushing me to be better no matter what I do. When I succeed at something, she is so proud of me and to make her proud is my number one goal.

Lucky? As if.

Britney Spears said it best in her hit song “Lucky” in 2000. “She’s so lucky but she cry, cry, cries in her lonely heart, thinking if there’s nothing missing in my life then why do these tears come at night?” When my friends tell me the stories of their siblings and the laughs and secrets they share, it hits me in my heart. I would give anything to have a sibling- a constant best friend. Someone who is next to your bedroom when you need them the most. Someone who can cover for you when you sneak out of the house to go see that trouble bringing boy when you told your mom you were going to visit your friend at work.

Annoying? No we just keep in constant contact with our best friends

When I’m bored sitting in the house and I need to get out, I don’t have a sister or brother to go out to lunch with, so I text my friends. Some are working some are away. Well, what time do they get off work? When the last table at their restaurant leaves. So, now what? I keep my mind occupied by having a conversation with them to make their work shit go by faster and so I don’t feel so alone. I take my self out to lunch at Panera, sit in the back corner and write a lesson plan wishing I had a sibling.

Private: We aren’t used to sharing details about our life

We don’t have someone who is constantly asking us questions such as “Where are you?” “When will you be back?” “Can I wear the shirt you wore last week in your selfie?” “Can we get lunch?" So when someone (besides our parents) asks us a question, our red flags go up and we begin to wonder why this person wants to know details, and we get suspicious. We do not trust easy and we question motives before answering a question.

Here’s what we are:

Responsible

With one parent working, and the other parent in and out of the hospital, I grew up fast. I learned needs from wants and priorities. School was and always will be my number one priority because without an education you aren’t going anywhere. When my parents ask me to do something, it has to be done right away and I cant ask anyone else to do it for me. This taught me priorities. Getting the garage cleaned out would be nice, but the physical appearance of the garden should be done first.

Loyal

Since we don’t have siblings, our friends mean the world to us. When we make friends, we don’t let them go easy without a fight. We are the most loyal friends anyone could ever ask for. We will be there for you no matter the situation no matter what time. We will tell you what you need to hear even if you don’t want to.

Honest

We will tell you what you need to hear and we won’t beat around the bush when we do it. If you ask a question, you get a direct answer.

Next time you see or meet an only child, do not belittle them or judge them off the bat. Don’t judge them for the nice car they drive, the clothes they wear, or “the money” they have. As an only child, I earned the things I want and work for anything additional. People always tell me how it “Must be nice to be an only child” and “how I’m so lucky because I don’t have to share.” I am the pride and joy of both of my parents and if they want to buy me nice clothes, a car, or tickets to a concert to show me how much they love me, they can. It’s their money and if they chose to spend it on me that is their decision. Do not judge someone for a decision that they didn’t make.