Comrades,

In a shocking turn of events, Russia responded to the US announcing the legalization of gay marriage with a sparkling sense of pride...

for family values of course!

During the past few weeks, in a stand against Facebook's slanderous "Celebrate Pride" rainbow filter that you may see on many profiles, a brave soul came up with his own filter with the Russian colors.

As the filter trended through the bowels of Russia's social media, excited citizens began adding hashtags like #straightpride or #FamilyValues, a very productive, comforting movement against the rise of Gay Armageddon.

What is Russia's damage, man?

Homosexuality isn't illegal in Russia, at least not anymore. However, like a timehop to good ol' Freud, it is seen as a form of mental illness, a perverse and often frowned upon lifestyle. In fact, it's so frowned upon, it incites reactions like these below (warning: strong language):

Although there are scarce gay organizations and gatherings and the revolutionaries like the infamous band, Pussy Riot, being gay in Russia is like sticking an African American in the middle of a KKK meeting.

Even as far back as when Stalin took the reigns of the Soviet Union we can see the values of the 'family' starting to stand ground against a sinful society. Things like women's rights and homosexuality were thrown out the window as the Union pelted into a prison state, where Stalin killed and imprisoned more than 20 million people.

Imagine the Union like a massive compound like Oz, and you may imagine the usefulness gays may have had. People used others for sexual needs, sometimes as lovers, but sometimes as ways of embarrassing, using, or assaulting each other. To be used by someone like that for long periods of time was seen as a form of ultimate domination and humiliation.

Even after we saw the fall of Stalin, and homosexuality became legal again, it was still seen as something evil, shameful. Unlike the United States, almost everybody in Russia is non religious, yet still follow the church's will as a way of expressing unified patriotism. And as you saw above, their will is done with the finesse and compassion of a baby psychopath. Some might call it 'scapegoating' but the homosexual prominently became the scourge of society, launching the country into the strong sense of family values Russians feel today.

Surprisingly, Putin today isn't the cause of the rampant homophobia, it's just the way that society wound up.

I looked into it, and there happens to be a network across the country of different organizations dedicated to fighting for equality. You can find them here.

However, considering the odd's I'd be facing, it doesn't look like I'll be making any vacation plans over there any time soon.