Few bands can do for me emotionally what Bleachers shouldn't. I'm traveling through moments, places, and people. Walls are broken and barriers are built.
In my mind, music reviews are bullshit. They're usually full of adjectives that hardly ever describe the meaning behind the music. You'll never get that out of me, no matter how much I wish to sound like an educated prick. This is a reflection on Bleachers from playtime. by Michael O'Mara. Each lyric is seen through my own lens and interpreted as such. Whether a shower, a roof, or an ocean, Bleachers knows few limits.
Bleachers is the group from Jack Antonoff, guitarist of FUN. and lead vocalist from Steel Train. This side-project-turned-homage of loss, recovery and recklessness embedded itself into summer and refused its relenting chokehold. Jack’s own pain, while distant from my own, swells beneath me.
I’ve broke my silence in an angry yell.
I’ll never understand “dance like nobody's watching.” What’s that nonsense about? Is it supposed to instill confidence in my ability to express emotion through body movement? Am I really this self-conscious? Will I only bust a move if my surroundings are a cloaked shower? I say dance like you want people to watch, even when alone. Nobody truly gives a shit, anyway. I should follow my advice.
I put a bullet where I should’ve put a helmet.
On the surface, you’d think suicide. However, there are moments, much like this one, sitting cross-legged on a coarse deck around three or so in the morning, where I struggle with my own ineptitude. No, this is not a fancy of way of courting death, just a descriptive attack on what keeps me awake. I know you feel this.
I could use a bad disguise to guard me on the darkest nights.
Sleep is a weight. There is a moment which never escapes me — the rip tide won’t allow it. I’m caught, feverishly grasping for footholds. My toes graze the sand, eventually tearing me apart from one world into another. Then I wake up. This is true. Like a ragdoll, my childish body is helpless to prevent the rhythmic motion of the current. Rooted within reality, thankfully, is an ending which results positive. That’s where the weight comes in, keeping me grounded. I think of the tide, how it should’ve pulled the careless youth below. Something spits me back out, and I’m reminded of it each time my eyes close.
I want to be grateful for the experiences.
Probably won’t happen anytime soon. Instantaneously, I’m overcome with cynicism and daft disgust when starting anew. Not to say I’m angry, I’m just tired, and I’m only 22.
Tired of chasing my dreams.
I wanted to go to Japan. I would take a chair, place it alongside my home and pretend to fly an airplane.
I wanted to draw. I spent thousands of hours imitating those envied. I was completely unaware their path was not my own. Too little too late.
I wanted to sing. I’d wait to be alone and I’d sing with iTunes while Limewire yet again ate my motherboard. I was told to remain silent and still.
Chasing my dreams, out of arm's reach. Like a window, obstacles became entrenched at every turn. Eventually, disdain planted its roots, a sickness of seeking.
We took the bones out from the road
Skyline in plain sight, sun overhead. Hours on highways leading up to this. The air is calm, our hands sailing. Take me home, Chicagoland.
I'm screaming from my bedroom window
Imagine a boy, 16, who’s been told death was a better option from the person which gave him life. All he has to his name is a window and a bed. When the sun is low, he’ll reach out and plead. Just some trees, maybe a bird or two listen.
「♪」
From playtime. comes Listener Showcase, a series of thoughts, stories and opinions from listeners of playtime. — a variety radio program.
Songs can touch you, able to capture precise feelings. So much in fact, your mind considers it your own. What about an entire album? In 2014, "Strange Desire" from Bleachers graced the shelves, changing me. The debut album from Jack Antonoff become everything I was going through and everything I craved. Each song perfectly described my relationships, teaching me to love and be loved.
I wanna get better ..
I wanna get better ..
I wanna get better ..
Then It happened. The very notes themselves connected within. I became better. At the time, "Strange Desire" was a learning tool and a representation of who I wanted to be. Now, it’s the soundtrack to my memories, a reminder of who I was. My appreciation knows no limits.
Bleachers is the side project from Jack Antonoff of FUN. and Steel Train. Their debut album, Strange Desire, is out now. Listen here.
Bleachers Tour
P.S. Bleachers are RECORDING.
Lyrics from Bleachers are linked below
I'm Ready To Move On / Wild Heart Reprise
This article is from playtime. by Michael O'Mara. To hear and read more, visit playtime. Be sure to play along on social media, using #playtime.
Michael O’Mara is a 22-year-old junior at Kutztown University.
