I don't like you very much. You're tiny. You're a fish bowl. I think it's due time we break up.
Your small town charm worked on me once upon a time and whenever I come back to visit I get that reminiscent love for you. I mean you are pretty, and even better It's like being a celebrity sometimes, you know? I can't go anywhere without someone saying "Oh you're so-and-so's kid" or "You're so-and-so's girlfriend. How are you!?" This time around I had people I didn't even know excited to see me and asking me how college is going. That's all nice and grand for maybe a week. But the small town he-said-she-said routine gets old quick (and you're nothing like Stars Hollow).
You helped shape me as a person and now that I'm away at school the thought of coming home is always a comfort. The problem is, you're becoming less of a comfort and I'm not the same person you shaped me to be. The problem with the small town atmosphere is everyone knows everyone's business. That means I knew the worst part of everyone and that made me cynical. I'm not cynical anymore. I'm trusting and I'm understanding. I am everything you taught me not to be.
I am still out-growing certain parts of you. I don't think I'll ever stop succumbing to cheap gossip. I'm always going to be aware of people whispering behind by back. But I've also committed to being the best version of myself and maybe it's because you taught me how fast news travels.
I'm going back to school in a week, and I'd like to say I won't miss you. But I will. As long as my family is still living in your city-limit you will still be home. The comfort will still be there, but so will everything I've mentioned above. I promise to come back and visit, but the bond that once existed is gone and it's not going to come back and eventually neither will I.
Please understand that it's not you. It's me. I changed. Unfortunately, you didn't. You're still the same old town and I'm not the same old girl. When I'm home I fall back into bad and hateful habits that existed in me before I moved. Even my faith has grown since going to school and when I'm home I feel it start to depreciate again.
I'm sorry it had to come to this. Maybe someday we'll meet again in a new world.
Until then, good luck.
Sincerely,
The One That Moved Away
