The internet has been exploding with news about the Angelina Jolie - Brad Pitt divorce since it was released on Monday. But we need to ask ourselves the honest question: Are we actually surprised?

With divorce rates in America hovering around 50%, and percentages climbing higher for each subsequent marriage, the odds were that Jolie's third marriage and Pitt's second would end the same way that their previous marriages did. But let's talk about why it happened for this beloved Hollywood pair.

Allegations of Abuse: It appears that the tipping point in their marriage for Angelina happened on September 14th, when, on their private plane, a drunken Brad became verbally and physically abusive of the kids. In the divorce papers, Angelina marked the date of separation as the following day: September 15th. So it is good and perfectly reasonable that Angelina is filing for divorce because Brad is clearly a drunk and an abusive father, right?

Wrong. Reports clarify that on the plane a somewhat inebriated Brad Pitt got into a verbal argument with Angelina, which escalated when one of their sons got between the two, and a "nose-to-nose" argument took place between Brad and his son. However, Brad never hit his child and no one was ever physically harmed.

But this is evidence that Mr. Pitt is a good-for-nothing drunk, right? Actually, Brad does not have much of a reputation for being a boozer, although he has expressed a love for weed. However, he claimed to have kicked that habit years ago.

So is this incident enough to accuse Brad of being a drunk and an abusive father? More likely, it seems to be a combination of exaggeration and manipulation of facts in order for Angelina to get full custody of the kids - which Brad is fully expected to challenge. And if this truly is the case, it beckons the question for Angelina: Is the right to full custody worth destroying the reputation of the man you have been with for 12 years?

Irreconcilable Differences: Angelina told Brad about her intentions to file for divorce, and two days later that is exactly what she did, citing "irreconcilable differences" as the reason. Though Brad claimed he knew their marriage was in trouble, he said that the divorce came as a shock and that it totally "wrecked" him.

A source told People Magazine that Brad "was willing to do anything, change any habit, change any lifestyle, to do what had to be done to make this work." But it looks like Jolie was not interested. Apparently, an attempt at reconciliation is not necessary before deeming something "irreconcilable." Maybe the divorce papers should include a "because I want to" reason for filing and save us some time.

For the Good of the Kids: Given Jolie's accusations of Pitt, and her intention to gain full custody, arguably this divorce is for the sake of her children. Something any good mother would be concerned about, right? Well, Miss Jolie might want to rethink her parenting tactics. She has essentially thrown her six children into a situation where they not only have to cope with the reality that their parents are separating, but also that their father is being accused of abuse, and that it is being broadcasted on the headlines of every newspaper and magazine. And this all happened in the course of a week. Bravo. Pitt even requested that Jolie "press pause" so that they could figure out "how to make things better" for their six kids, but this was clearly not her intention.

Not only that, but study after study has shown the harmful effects of divorce on children. Pitt and Jolie can expect their kids to have less academic and social success, face emotional difficulties including sensitivity, anger, and guilt, be more at risk for physical and mental health problems, be more likely to involve themselves in crime and destructive behaviors, and of course, when they are older, follow in daddy and mommy's footsteps and likely get a divorce themselves.

So What is the Real Reason? I do not mean to pick on Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie because the truth is that this is the reality for many couples and many parents throughout America. The truth that no one wants to hear is that a good relationship - a good marriage - takes hard work. Forget the idea of your soulmate. Forget the idea that if you are not happy all the time it is because it clearly was not meant to be. Because as comforting as it is to blame the failure of your marriage, or any relationship, on anything or anyone other than yourself, it is simply not the truth.

It is easy to acknowledge that there is a problem. It is not easy to acknowledge that we are part of the problem. So if we are looking for problems, we might consider taking an introspective glance. And if we are honest with ourselves, I think we will find that there is a lot to improve upon. And who knows? Once we fix those problems, the other problems in our lives might be fixed as well.