Dear boys,
I am writing on behalf of all Christian single females everywhere (well, on behalf of those who are in my friend group). While I am happily in a relationship, many of my friends have struggled, and still struggle with dealing with the guy they like.
The scenario is familiar: A girl starts liking a guy, and it's usually because of proximity. He's in many of her classes, or knows someone in her friend group. She enjoys getting to know him more at every interaction she has with him. She makes herself available to him, and may even go out of her way to see him if she knows he will be at a certain event. It's a rush of adrenaline when he seems to reciprocate the attention. He flirts, pays attention to her, and wants to spend time with her. She starts to wonder, "Does he like me back?"
But then time slowly ticks by. Nothing happens. He stays silent and she stays wondering. She analyzes everything he says and does to discern if it means anything or not. That is driving her crazy!
"I wish he was just upfront with me! I wish he would just ask me out already!"
Now, women, we are faced with a choice. We can either choose to stay in this nasty place of helplessness and over analyze everything, or we can do something about it. We could take the matter into our own hands and bring it up, have a conversation, and be the man we wish he would be.
But men, listen up, a girl is not backwards or traditional if she chooses to wait for you to take the first action. Actually, she's doing it for your pride. She's doing it because there is something in you that wants to sweep a woman off her feet; to love her in a way that takes her breath away.
By refusing to act first, a woman is essentially saying she believes in you to be courageous. She believes you are strong enough to put yourself out there and be vulnerable before the girl you like. So if she took control and made the first move, wouldn't that just prove to you that you have a lot of growth to do?
Maybe you don't know if she likes you back. The prospect of rejection is so scary, and playing it safe is much easier and more secure. Also, you probably don't feel even close to ready to making a commitment to a girl you just want to get to know more.
Dude, it's okay. Asking her out to coffee does not mean you are proposing to her.
And ladies, let a courageous guy like that take you out. Give him a chance and have fun. After all, he was man enough to ask you and the least you could do is thank him by taking him up on the offer. He isn't proposing to you.
Today I asked one of my guy friends, "Why is it important to be honest and direct with the girl you like?"
His answer: "Because I believe that it shows the girl how important she is to you, and it shows that you are able to be up front with her on issues that are sometimes hard to talk about.
I was raised to believe that a guy who can be honest, direct, and upfront is better than to keep her guessing and on her toes.
The sooner she knows your honest intentions with her, the better the outcome can be." - Aaron C. Miller, 21
So guys, take it from a group of girls who believe in you. We know you can be courageous, vulnerable, godly, and centered on Christ. We really believe you can do it. That's why we're waiting for you to take that next step.
So just ask her out already!
