Admit it: you have a Tinder. You may only use it "for fun" or "to look," but you have one, and you spent an embarrassing amount of time on your profile. I'm here to tell you that profile is probably all wrong. This may be online dating, but there needs to be an element of class. Follow my rules boys and you will be drowning in right swipes.
1. No hunting pics. Unless you’re trying to appeal to a minority of girls, then no one wants to see you decked out in a fugly camo onesie proudly holding up a deer carcass. Congrats, you stood and shot something that can’t fight back. Glad your manhood was restored and your redneck still intact. Hint: If you want to look athletic, post a picture of you doing literally any other activity. Honestly, professional bowling is more attractive than hunting. Next.
2. Same goes for fishing pics. Don’t care that you caught a fish, don’t care that you are holding it, don’t care that you probably dated your cousin. It’s redneck and not appealing. I’m looking for someone who can buy me a fancy fish dinner, not catch it on the backwoods. Left swipe.
3. If you have any of the above you most likely have a car pic. Delete that immediately. Girls want to date you, not your car. Guarantee few girls actually care what car you drive, unless you’re compensating for something...
4. Mirror selfies are not ok for anyone. Thank you for showing me your reflection because I can’t see what you actually look like in a higher quality photo. I don’t care if you are David Beckham you look like a douche. X.
5. Tattoo pics. We get it; you’re a tool bad who works harder flexing his triceps than actually lifting. Chill.
6. Some girls appreciate the six-pack selfie, but not this girl. I just picture the guy standing around getting different angles and complimenting himself on his photography skills. This type of guy probably has an album on his phone of body selfies. Right swipes are only given to hot bodies in action. Next.
7. Group photos: stop them. I have the attention span of a rock so I cruise on Tinder. There is no time to go through all the photos and pray you are the good looking one only to find out later you were actually the one that took the photos because you were not cute enough to actually be in them. Left.
8. Immediately asking to do the dirty. What are you expecting a girl to say to that? “Oh sure you are a random stranger that I’ve seen three pictures of but YOLO!!!! Name the time and place!” If that is all you’re going to say you are better off wasting that energy dialing up a prostitute. It’s not real and it’s not going to happen. X.
To sum it all up: don't be a redneck tool bag. Regardless if you're on here for a match or "just wanted to try it," be yourself...and not a total creep.
