I know what many of you may be thinking: purity is "old fashioned" or "lame," but I'm hear to tell you that my boyfriend and I have found otherwise. I am not here to tell you how to live out intimacy in your relationship. I am not here to tell you that my boyfriend and I are "better" than anyone, nor am I trying to be a prude. I am just here to tell you what I have discovered in living out a relationship in purity.

I have made mistakes before in the past. I have given that special gift to someone I thought loved me. Someone who I thought deserved it. One thing I love about our God is that He forgives and gives us a fresh start. I can live out a life of purity moving forward regardless of my past. I can respect my body, my standards as well as the body and standards of my partner.

I always thought when I was new to relationships, that I had to compromise the standards I had set for myself to find someone who would love me. Boy, was I wrong. By lowering your standards, whatever they may be, you are opening a door to a whole bunch of people who will take advantage of you and your heart all in the name of "love". Never ever lose sight of those standards that you have set for yourself. Not only will you betray yourself, but you will invite all this heartache that you could easily avoid. Boys may go running when they learn it isn't so easy to get you to lose your clothes, but I can promise you that you will find one who will stick around. You will find a boy who will respect your standards and hopefully has a set of his own.

One of the wonderful things about being in a relationship that revolves around purity is the ability to set standards for yourselves as a couple. The word "standard" usually has a negative connotation attached to it, but in reality, they keep you grounded, they hold you accountable, they keep you disciplined, and they keep you focused.

As a couple, one of the benefits Jacob and I found in maintaining our purity is the depth and the width of our love that we are able to have for one another. We are able to learn so much about one another as separate people and how those two different people can work well together as a unit. We learn what ticks off one another, what our aspirations or dreams are, our greatest fears, and our plans for the future. We can encourage one another academically, we can help each other along our faith walk, and keep God in the center of our relationship. We spend time learning both the little and the bigs things. The things that really distinguish an acquaintance from someone you truly care about.

I am not saying we are perfect. Jacob and I are human and we deal with those temptations just like anyone else. With our standards in place, we are able to put aside those temptations aside and remain focused. It is not easy. I know from experience. One thing I have learned is that if you are having trouble overcoming those sexual thoughts, make sure you are with a group of friends or in a public place where you aren't tempted to act out upon those feelings. Ask someone to chaperone the two of you or "third wheel." You may find it annoying, but it will help you maintain those standards that you as a couple agreed upon.

I am not here to preach about what I think is the right way to carry out relationship, nor to chastise you if your relationship with your partner involves sex. I am just here to tell you that this is what my boyfriend andI have chosen. We are not "losers," "lame," or a laughing matter. We are two people who are living the way we think is the best for us as a couple and the best for our faith.

We don't love each other less because we don't have sex, nor do we need to "test drive" one another to experience authentic love. We still have loads of fun and enjoy each others company very much. God will bless our decision and create that physical chemistry and allow us to experience it in all it's fullness when the time is right.

So next time you see a girl with a purity ring on her ring finger or encounter a couple that has standards that may be more strict than the ones you have in yours, respect their choices. They are just as valid as yours.