It's happened countless times. A boyfriend wants to go out for dinner, whether a date or a casual meal and asks his girlfriend what she wants. She says, "I don't know." He says, "Well what about Chinese?" and she says, "No, not Chinese." He says, "Well then what do you want?" and she says, "I don't know." Then arguing ensues. Usually, it's a light argument, usually in a joking manner and not a big deal. But sometimes it explodes into this huge fight over FOOD. WHAT?!
As a woman who does this, I'm here to explain. Usually, my boyfriend pays for the meal. Not that I don't pay or take him out, I do, but currently, he is the breadwinner in the relationship and thus treats me to dinner. He always asks what I want to eat. Usually, I know. I have an exact place in my mind that I want to go. But I say, "I don't know." I say this to give him a chance to say, "Well I actually would like to go to (blank) is that cool?" and since he's paying I want to go to where he wants to go! So of course unless I just REALLY hate that place, I will say sure and we'll enjoy dinner there.
However, my boyfriend is a very picky person. He says that he wants me to choose restaurants because they usually serve burgers or chicken fingers everywhere and he can always find something to eat. So he wants me to choose. Which is understandable but if he's paying I want him to enjoy his meal.
So he rarely ever says, "Actually I want to go to (blank)." His response 9 times out of 10 is, "Well what are you in the mood for?" Usually, from here I'll tell him what I'm in the mood for and we'll go from there. If I keep saying, "I don't know, that doesn't sound good, I don't want that" it's because I have a place in mind that I want to go and am only craving that. However, that place is usually expensive and thus I don't want to say, "I want to go to (expensive restaurant)" because he's paying and that's rude. And if he can't afford said restaurant then it's awkward because he'll take us there any way to make me happy even though I know he doesn't really have the money for it.
I keep saying "I don't know" in the hope that he'll get to the option himself and if he's offering to go there then he can afford it. And if he can't afford it, he won't suggest it. I usually find someplace I'm okay with going from the suggestions he throws out. I know this seems unnecessary and tedious, but this is what most women do.
We're trying to not be rude and let you also have a say in where we go. Just let us do our thing and appreciate when we say where we want to go definitively.
