Yes, my boyfriend is black and I am white.
My boyfriend and I have been dating for two and a half years. We have known each other since eighth grade and he has always been there for me no matter what. He is enrolled in college and is majoring in computer engineering. He helps me pay the bills and clean around the house and he even cooks me dinner and brings me breakfast in bed when I am sick. To sum it up I am one lucky girl... but that is not the point. The point I am trying to make is that although it is not thought to be that big of an issue today there are still people out there who do not approve of interracial relationships and I am not entirely sure why.
Race has been one of the biggest topics in the media lately in regards to things like police brutality and how presidential candidates have been acting but what has not been discussed lately is the idea of the interracial relationship. Being in one myself I have seen first hand how people react to them. Some people are totally accepting while others make it blatantly obvious that they do not agree with the idea of people from two different races dating.
My question to those who do not accept my relationship is why? Why is it so wrong for me to be physically and emotionally attracted to someone who has a different skin tone than I do? What could possibly be wrong with me dating someone who takes care of me, makes me happy and is willing to do whatever it takes to keep me safe and protected at all times? How can you frown upon us when you have never even interacted with us or met me or him? And to those of you that have met us why even after that do you still solely depend on the stereotypes society holds and not the facts that you have seen right in front of you?
The thing that frustrates me the most is the way that people attempt to be subtle about their feelings. When I show pictures of my boyfriend and me together they take a short glance and then look away and say "oh... that's nice" or "Wow, I did not expect your boyfriend to look like that." When I ask what they mean when they say they did not expect him to look like that their face immediately turns red because they do not have an acceptable answer or reason. Instead, they simply say "I don't know" and move on as if it never happened. Well, I DO know what you meant and I am amazed that you felt you could even say that to me expect me to sit there and take it.
Today racial slurs and jokes are not taken as seriously as they should and whenever anyone decides to stand up and say "hey that is wrong" people tell them to "lighten up" or "calm down" and to "not take things so seriously". I will admit I was one of those people who use to just laugh the slurs/jokes off and move on because I felt me intervening did not matter but now that I have been in situations where those "jokes" have been turned into serious comments geared towards my boyfriend and myself I do stand up and say that is wrong and when I am told to calm down I don't because it isn't okay and it never will be.
Our family members have been extremely accepting of our relationship for the most part and I am extremely grateful to his family especially for that. They have taken me in as if I was one of their own and I could not feel more comfortable at family functions and events. His mom and I talk and text regularly (sometimes we talk more often than her and my boyfriend) I give her updates on how he is doing and she sends me pictures of the new baby in the family and updates me on family member's health situations. I am also grateful for my family members as well as they too have been accepting of him and have welcomed him with open arms. He and my dad talk sports, food and school and even grilled together once when we went on vacation.
That being said there are some older family members on my side who have been hesitant to accept us and it hurts me to have to say that. I have learned that I am never going to please everyone and to be honest I no longer care to try too. I no longer care because their opinions are irrelevant to me. If they are that dense that they cannot accept the fact that I am dating outside my race then I do not want to be associated with them. In fact, I feel bad for them because they are letting themselves be part of the destruction of this country. People like them are so close minded that they will never see how culturally diverse the world is and how much every person of every descent has to offer. They are causing their own self-destruction and attempting to cause others' at the same time.
With all that out on the table, I would just like to say that regardless of what you individuals think I am happy and nothing you can say or do will ever change the way I live my life or alter who I choose to be in a relationship with. My boyfriend is living a very successful life and so I am and we are both on the path to living an amazing and fulfilling life together. He does not take advantage of me and I do not rely solely on him, we support each other in every way possible. So yes my boyfriend is black and I am white and for those of you who are not okay with that I hope one day your small mind will begin to expand and I hope that you will teach your children better values than your elders have taught you because they truly deserve better.
