Dear Boy I took for granted,
I am sorry. Not because it didn't work out the first time, but because I told you I wanted to give it another chance when I wasn't entirely sure. I let peer pressure get the best of me and let my friend who wanted to play matchmaker the power to say things I was too scared to say, and allow her to press send. We were in a good place until I irresponsibly messed with your emotions. It is one of my biggest regrets in life.
I was apprehensive. I had only ever dated one guy in high school who had broken my heart, so I had my guard up. But despite that, you continually proved to me how great you were and how a person should be treated. I always looked forward to the next time we would hang out, what we would cook next, or what adventure you would take me on.
Everything changed when my friend told me a rumor when my friends and I were a little tipsy. It planted the seed of doubt in my mind that you only wanted to spend time with me so you could get the one thing that every guy in high school wanted. I was a nervous bundle of conflicting emotions and I didn't know what to do. I eventually drew back and ghosted you.
Things were weird for a few months, as I expected, but I soon started to question whether I trusted the right person. I decided to extend the olive branch and wished you a happy birthday. Things between us started to feel normal again. At least I knew we were in a good place.
By this time, it was second semester of my senior year. I was over at my friend's house late one night when she asked me why we never worked out. After explaining things to her, she was set on seeing us together again. She thought we were meant to be, and part of me wanted to believe her. She took my phone and told me she would text you as me, saying that I wanted to start things over. I passively let it happen.
When I got home, I started to process what I had done. I was consumed by that dreadful anxiety one gets after sending a risky text and I panicked. I, then, texted you saying that I had changed my mind. Again, I am sorry. In retrospect, I should have never let my friend send that first one. But now I have to deal with the embarrassment of leaving things awkward between us.
I wish I could tell you all of this in person, but realistically I know that things like this just needs time. I know things can't work between us since I messed everything up but just know that I never intended any of this to happen. I hope you are doing well and that this letter reaches you.
Sincerely,
The girl who ghosted
