The Boy I Might Have Loved
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Relationships

The Boy I Might Have Loved

What does love look like looking back?

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The Boy I Might Have Loved
Amy Jo Hawkins

I was reading back on some journal entries I wrote deep in the night a while ago. I had just gone through an extremely tough separation from my (now ex) boyfriend and I thought the world could not possibly be big enough to hold all of the things I was feeling at once. I was hurt beyond measure and I had no idea how I was going to move on and learn from this heartbreak.

I’m sitting here a year and a half later and I can’t begin to comprehend how I let a boy leaving tear my heart in two. I have a feeling that I was being awfully overdramatic when I was writing, but I can still remember my tears the final time I talked to him on the phone before he left on his mission. I sit here today knowing that God had a plan for both of us and we were never meant to last forever.

I have a different kind of love for him now. I love what he taught me about religion. I love that he made me seriously look at my faith and consider my beliefs. I love knowing that we got three beautiful months of love and hopefully an eternity of friendship. I admire him and I respect him and I hope to learn from him as much as I possibly can in this lifetime.

Never stop looking for people who can enrich your life and your worldview. Zach and I will never be more than friends, but I think that’s ok. He gave me sadness that this world couldn’t quite contain. He inspired some of my best prose poetry. He serves as a constant reminder that faith can move mountains. He showed how to look for the goodness in the world and amplify it. Don’t let a broken heart stop you. Revel in it for a minute, write some truly angsty poetry, hug your mom, and then try to move past it and grow. Learn what you can from your past. You never know who you will become a year and a half later. Life is a beautiful journey; don’t stop for anyone who can’t keep up with you.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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