I know it's been a while.

Life has a funny way of revealing blessings. The past few months have been a rollercoaster of emotions and changes, and I've barely been able to keep up. It's the feeling where you're on a speeding motorcycle, your fingertips just barely clinging on to the handlebars in desperation as the sharp wind smashes against your face. Despite the quick pace, it's always a consistent thrill.

So many exciting things have happened to me recently. I became Editor in Chief of Baylor's Odyssey; this platform has helped me grow in inexplicable ways over the past 19 months, and I am forever grateful and excited to continue to serve in this leadership position. I became the Academic Achievement Chairman of my sorority, Zeta Tau Alpha, as a member of the Executive Council. This position has pushed me to be a role model for the young women in my chapter, and it forces me to utilize my leadership abilities to encourage and positively impact others' successes. In addition to my French minor, I recently decided to add an additional minor in Sociology to my degree plan.

I have been so blessed to have these exciting changes in my life, and I consider myself to be an adaptable person.

I am confident when I say that I am blessed and thankful for the opportunities that I have received. But I have also realized over the fast few months that I am probably the most anxious person that I know. When I glance at my calendar, my heart races like horses taking off after a gunshot. When others are not on time, my brain pounds against my temple like I'm going to explode. Even now, as I type, my fingers are not steady; they tremble as I am aware that I am expressing my feelings to the world. God knows that I am the happiest person alive, but I've recently discovered that my highs are higher than the sky, and my lows are almost pitifully low.

When I'm with my friends or sorority sisters, it's impossible for me to stop laughing or grinning. My extroverted personality gleams and glimmers, and there is no place I'd rather be. But sometimes, when I'm in my room at 2 a.m. with my textbooks surrounding me and my emails blowing up with assignments and responsibilities, I want to burrow under the covers and hide from the world. I have come to the realization that I push myself so hard to be a perfect version of myself, and when I fall short, I am more disappointed in myself than anyone could ever be.

I have been through so many things that several other 19-year-olds have never experienced; Hurricane Katrina destroyed my house when I was 6, and my dad passed away when I was 15. I've always been known to be an optimist, so through the pain, I loved to smile and reassure everyone that I was fine. Burrowing my emotions always helped, and people encouraged my joy through the expected sadness. Perhaps, my recent anxiety and stress is a result of my past emotions finally coming to the surface.

Change. Life has a funny way of revealing change. So many exciting things have happened to me recently. I have loved all of the leadership positions and opportunities that I have received. But finally, I am recognizing my own emotions, and I am not going to hide my feelings by staying busy. I am going to use my positions, resources, and especially the Odyssey platform to release my feelings in a positive way. I want to reiterate that I am truly a happy and optimistic individual who is blessed with opportunities, supportive friends, and a loving family. But I cannot ignore that fact that stress consumes me daily, chipping years off my life over silly reasons like my difficult French class or if I'm running five minutes late.

Life's blessings come unexpectedly. I go to my dream school, Baylor University, I am in my dream sorority, Zeta Tau Alpha (in my dream position!), and I am Editor in Chief for the most incredible platform on the planet, Odyssey. God has placed these circumstances in my life in order for me to heal in a healthy way. I am going to use my newfound minor in Sociology to understand important social issues that aid my major and how it can help others in health care. Perhaps, I can use it to help myself.

I am the most blessed person on this planet. But I'm not perfect. And hopefully, my fingers will stop shaking when everything is calm. I pray that my brows will stop furrowing in despair when a professor mentions a pop quiz. I want more than anything, for my anxiousness to stop consuming the happy things. Change has its highs and its lows, and through prayer, I'm embracing the lows in order to someday only recognize the highs.