A friend I made during my freshman year of college told me months after we had become friends that I was very intimidating when we first met. She was quick to reassure me that it was fine, that I just “have a strong personality,” and that it was just because “I’m confident in myself and don’t care what other people think of me.” I was kind of taken aback by what should’ve felt like a compliment but felt more like a stab at my temperament. It was as if hearing that suddenly made me want to shrink into myself and regress to being soft-spoken, self-conscious Isabel, the same Isabel who was too nervous to tell people that she preferred Izzy, always.

I started questioning my self-confidence, suddenly starting to feel the need to care more about how I appeared to people. I didn’t want to intimidate anyone. I still wanted to be liked by people.

It wasn’t some pivotal experience that made me realize that I ultimately shouldn't care how other people see me; I still have moments where I wish I could just be simple-minded and indifferent to the world around me. But I'm not. I am very opinionated, and there is no reason why I should feel bad about that.

For those facing a similar struggle, I have two recommendations for you. First, "You Are a Badass: How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life" by Jen Sincero. It's labeled as a "self-help" book, but think of it more like an awesome person pep talk. Sincero keeps the mood light with humorous antics from her life, but the advice she gives in it is a good reaffirmation of what I needed to hear: be proud of what you do, don't be ashamed of who you are, love yourself. It seems so simple, those three things, but I think what was causing a lot of my unhappiness in high school was the fact that I wasn't doing these things. By finding work that I am proud of in college and finding things that I excel in, I have been able to build up confidence and said intimidating personality.

Which brings us to my second recommendation: a video clip from Nicki Minaj's documentary, "Nicki Minaj: My Time Now," in which she talks about demanding a certain kind of respect. She says that she would walk out of a low quality, low budget photoshoot with nothing provided but a jar of pickles. She refused to "drink the pickle juice, because if she hadn't, she'd still be drinking pickle juice." I know that whatever I end up doing with my life, I will not amount to the success and fame of Minaj, but I side with the pickle juice stance.

I used to let people push me around because I was too scared to be assertive. I didn't want to be thought of as aggressive or b*tchy. I was drinking all of the pickle juice. But in coming to college and getting a chance to present myself differently to my new peers, I came in demanding respect.

I don't let people control how I choose to live, I don't let others pull me away from what I enjoy doing or let them make me feel bad about it. Some people may think of this article as self-absorbed or pretentious, being all about me and why I like myself, but why should I feel bad for liking myself or trying to let other people see why you should like yourself, and stand up for yourself?

Maybe no one will read this. Maybe no one will care. But knowing that I am writing about what I think is important or what I'd want to read is more important to me than knowing that my articles barely get read. I am proud of what I have written, and I will continue to write about what I like writing about, because in the end, this is for me. In the end, that is what's most important in what I do for whatever I choose to do with my life and future career. So if you can take anything away from this article, it's this: stand up for yourself, don't settle for pickle juice (ever), do what you like, and f*ck what people think of it.