Growing up in the south in the little ole' boot-shaped state of Louisiana, I've been blessed to have experiences I would never have anywhere else in this country, even in the rest of the world. Louisiana is my home and always will be. I will forever respect every aspect of the state, even if the stereotypes of us “strongly conservative hillbillies" run rampant. When I travel out of state, heading up north or traveling out of the country for one vacation or another, I always seem to get similar responses from those who ask where I'm from. Here’s just a few of the questions I’ve gotten.
1. "I can definitely hear your accent. You have that southern drawl."
First off, I can't even tell I have an accent (of course, who can ever tell for their own voice). But I can't even tell that you have an accent, and stereotypes say that all you Yankees talk the same. Seriously, I really am holding back on a stereotypical impression. Secondly, if you think I have an accent then you should go visit some real Cajun Louisiana residents, then tell me if I have an accent.
2. "Do you really eat those mudbugs?"
Oh, you mean Crawfish. It took me a second to realize what you were talking about. They're my favorite thing to eat for Good Friday dinner. It's even fun just going to Crawfish boils with friends where we sit around and boil them alive and hear their screams all while enjoying beer and good times. Sometimes before we boil them, we even set up races and each claim a crawfish. Which ever one reaches the pot first wins. I understand your look of confusion and slight disgust, but I haven't even gotten to the best part. We love to suck the heads when we peel them. That's where all the best seasoning is.
3. "Do you ever walk around topless in the French Quarter?"
I have more respect for myself and my body than that. It’s still shocking to me to see older women walking around Bourbon street with only a thin layer of paint on their bodies. Luckily, though, that’s only during Mardi Gras (usually).
4. "So, I'm guessing you're Catholic then?"
No, I'm not Catholic even though most of the state seems like it is. Here in the south, pretty much everyone observes the Catholic holidays and practices. We're almost forced to when it comes to Lent since all the restaurants like to change their menus, and back in high school all of the Friday lunch meals catered to the season.
5. "You must drink like a fish."
Even though our bars are open 24-hours, 7 days a week, and it's legal to drink on the streets in New Orleans, contrary to popular belief I do not drink like a fish. Most of the people you do see drunk on Bourbon street at nine in the morning are out-of-towners. But every now and then, stopping at the drive-through for a daiquiri is kind of nice after a long week.
6. “Do you have alligators in your backyard?”
No, I’m not living in the middle of a swamp and having to wear boots and overalls and driving an airboat to get everywhere. There’s a lot more diverse landscapes to our state than just swamps. Maybe you should do your research. But I must admit, I did have to stop the car for an alligator crossing the road once. Don't believe me? Here's my proof:
7. “How do you survive the humidity out there?”
You learn to live with it until you don't even realize there are other climates elsewhere. As a woman, you always know it's humid out when you wake up and try to do your hair and it's either 1. really curly and won't straighten or 2. really flat and frizzy and won't curl. Hairspray becomes your best friend. And face wipes. And maybe a towel if you plan on spending all day outside. But that's why we carry such big purses.
8. “Are you in to all that Voodoo practice stuff? Have you ever cursed anyone?”
Yeah, sure I’ve cursed quite a few people who’ve cut me off in traffic, but I’m really trying to cut back on that because it’s not very lady-like. As they say, “You can’t kiss your momma with that kind of dirty mouth.” But voodoo? No, can’t say I’ve ever been “in to it.” I hardly know anything about it. Just don’t piss me off or I might stick some pins into the voodoo doll of you I keep under my pillow.
9. “Oh, so are you a racist?”
That's something you should never ask anyone, anywhere, period. But for the record, I am not. I was raised to accept everybody for who they are no matter his or her skin color, ethnicity, gender, sexuality, or whatever else there is. I judge people based on respect: how they treat me, how they treat others, and the kind of attitudes they have.
10. "Have you ever gone to one of those dancing funerals for someone's death?"
A Jazz Funeral is a New Orleans tradition. You aren't dancing because you're celebrating and glad they're dead. No. Like, really. Who would do that? You're doing it in memory of them, celebrating his or her life through music and dancing. It's actually a huge honor if people dance down the street after you die. I've never been to one myself, but I've seen quite a few pass by.
11. "I've heard people get really crazy for Mardi Gras."
Yes, that's a definite fact. Not only is basically everyone drinking in the streets from ten in the morning to ten at night (some don't even stop at all), but people go crazy for Mardi Gras parade throws, even though most of them are made of cheap plastic and smell like beer. People are tackled for a two cent strand of beads, especially the giant ones that really pack a punch when they nail you in the face (Always keep your hands up. I've received one too many black eyes from not following that rule.). Some unfortunate, drunken parade-goers have even been run over by floats in attempts to get that 50 cent plastic sword from one of the riders. Seriously. If you even try to get the stuffed animal that's thrown in the middle of the street, you best get your claws out and be ready to wrestle a 40 year old woman over it.
And the most recent question I've gotten lately...
12. “How do you feel about all the Confederate flag business then?”
There are only four things I have to say to this: 1. People sometimes seem to forget that the Civil War was fought over a state's rights. 2. With that being said, symbols that had different meanings in the past do not always have the same meaning today. 3. It's not really the taking down of the flag that bothers me (I can understand that), but it's the idea of taking down monuments, re-naming places that have been around forever, and erasing any last evidence of the confederation ever being here. 4. We cannot erase history, no matter what atrocities might have occurred. What happens when you try to erase the past? It always comes back to haunt you.
