On last Tuesday. I received "The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts" in the mail. I cannot tell you how long I’ve wanted to buy and read this book. Any sort of psychological topic excites me. "The 5 Love Languages" is all about the ways that we personally and psychologically receive and give love. Not everyone is the same, and this book does an outstanding job of explaining this concept.
The author, Dr. Gary Chapman, has been a preacher and marriage counselor for over 35 years, giving him the experience and expertise to be able to write thoroughly on the subject of love. Throughout the book, he gives specific, real life examples of marital issues that real life couples came to him with and how he helped solve those issues.
The first three chapters of "The 5 Love Languages" are all about how and why human beings feel this need for love that no other feeling can feel, and how to keep that feeling alive. Dr. Chapman talks of what happens to love after the wedding, each person’s “love tank” and how to keep it full and falling in love. He not only talks about the symptoms of falling in love and feeling frustrated with your spouse after the wedding, but how it all applies emotionally and psychologically. These chapters really give great insight into many questions that everyone asks at some point in their relationship/marriage.
The fourth, fifth, sixth, seventh and eighth chapters, Dr. Chapman explains each of the five love languages, gives real life examples of each, explains the subcategories of each love language and tells how to give/receive them. The first love language Dr. Chapman explains is “Words of Affirmation." This means that one receives and gives love the most by saying and hearing words and phrases that build them up. The second love language he explains is “Quality Time." This means that one receives and gives love the most by spending time with their significant other. The third love language explained is “Receiving Gifts." This is pretty self explanatory, but it means that one receives and gives love the most by giving and receiving gifts.
The fourth love language he explains is “Acts of Service." Meaning that one gives and receives love the most when their significant other helps them out in some way and vice versa. That can be around the house, taking the kids to school, or simply giving him/her a neck massage at the end of the day. The final love language Dr. Chapman explains is “Physical Touch." Again, obviously this means that one gives and receives love the most through touch. To the person whose top love language is physical touch, simply holding their hand while walking through the grocery store means the world to them.
After explaining all the love languages and how to give/receive them, Dr. Chapman explains how to discover your own love language. He tells his readers that it is important to know your own, that way you can communicate that to your significant other and they can learn how to give you love in a way that it means the most to you, and vice versa. Then Dr. Chapman goes onto explain that love is a choice, and how it ultimately makes the difference in one’s life. Many people do not view love as a choice, but simply as a feeling. The feeling of falling in love does not last forever, after that “honeymoon phase” ends, love becomes the reality of a choice. Dr. Chapman then wrote a chapter on how to “love the unlovely” and gives a personal note at the very end. In the back of the book there is a quiz for him and for her to help discover which love language that each speak.
I highly recommend "The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts" to anyone and everyone. Even if you are single, it is important to discover your love language(s) and how to give those to others. If you do not own the book, you can visit www.5lovelanguages.com to take the quiz and discover your love language. It is a great read of personal discovery and psychological understanding. Many have testified that this book saved their marriage and given much insight to their lives. It can do the same for you.
