I am not a before picture.

It took me a really long time to arrive at that conclusion and to be okay with how I look right now, in this moment. You see, I am not a small woman. I wear size 18-20 pants, size Large to Extra-Large shirts, and size 10 shoes. I mean, honestly, the only small part of me is my nose. It’s microscopic! Go ahead and scroll down and see I am not joking – I am like one step away from being able to pass as Voldemort himself. But anyway, that is not my point.

My point is that by the standards of the world right now, I should be hiding under a rock, doing pushups until my hands bleed, eating only a celery stick a day and maybe a whole salad if I am feeling risky (woot). But that is not what I am doing. Instead, I have the gall to live the life some people say I shouldn’t. I am living my life as I want it, growing my mind, stretching my heart, and feeling confident in myself while I do it.

You see, I have this crazy notion that all the diversity in the human form is not an accident and that it is not a mistake. And, if you really, really think about it, it sort of makes sense. I mean, you go outside for five seconds and you see three different squirrels, ten different trees, twenty types of birds, and about five bazillion types of bugs, but in all of this, we see only beauty. On the other hand, when we look at all the different types and variations of people out there, we immediately start pointing fingers and barking out orders to the deviants, demanding conformity. Now this just doesn’t make sense to me. And it took a long time for me to catch on to this little flaw in our thinking, but now that I have it, I am just too dang stubborn to let it go.

You see, there were times when I was younger that I thought I had less desirability within me simply because of the amount of space I took up in a room, that I should make myself smaller because I hadn't really earned that space. I didn't really want to draw attention to myself in a crowd. But over time, by the grace of God, I was able to be in the presence of many wonderful women who did not adhere to stylistic norms in their lives, and I loved them. So I started to observe the way they acted and the way they handled a room and decided that, if these women could be comfortable, I could learn to be that way, too. So, the great journey of self-acceptance began, and I started to chip away at my insecurities in the mirror. And I eventually came to find myself as beautiful, and not just on the inside like some of those nasty, backhanded comments would like to tell you. No, I was beautiful on the outside, too.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I am not delusional. I know it would by physically healthier to lose weight and to be more active, but now, when I decide to go to the gym, it is different. Because now I don't have that hidden agenda of wanting to look a certain way. You see, I have decided to love every part of my body unconditionally, no matter how it decides to act that day. If, at some point, I do get to lose 50 pounds or so, fantastic! But if not, that is great, too. Because love—all love—should not be conditional.

We just have this one body to live in and, whether it is as you would like it or not, you have to find a way to be happy with yourself, at the core, independent from your fluctuating external realities. And life is too dang short to be unhappy.

So, to my fellow curvy women out there, keep on living your life, just as you like it and do not insist on shrinking yourself for the world that shows you no pity. And to the women who wish they had more around the hips, keep on going. Don’t let the world tell you who you should be. Walk and don’t look back. And to those who feel their feature aren’t feminine enough, don’t bat an eye at the haters. You are above them. You are a queen. And to the ones who think they are too short or too tall or too thin or too gangly, strut your stuff and stomp down the haters. Don’t look back – just keep marching. And remember: you are fierce AF.

And one last thing before I go: love yourself at all times and for a million different reasons. But if you find yourself building yourself up by tearing someone else down, please don't. If you are curvy, don’t hate on the thin ones. If you are tall, don’t hate on the short ones. And if you are atheletic, don’t hate on the clumsy ones. Because we have enough hate in the world without having to turn our own selves against each other. So build each other up. If you see a sister hurting, go tell her you love her. And if you see someone struggling in ways that you used to struggle, go tell them about it. Wipe their tears away, don’t add to them.

As it says in Romans 15: 1-2, “We who are strong ought to bear with the failings of the weak and not to please ourselves. Each of us should please our neighbors for their good, to build them up.”

So go ahead and strut and be your fabulous self, just don’t tear anyone else’s progress down in the meantime. Cool? Cool.

Peace out, ladies!