If you know me, you know that over the years I have not been the biggest fan of my appearances. From dying my hair every color, to crash dieting, I've been around the block a few times. Through it all, I realized it wasn't to be skinny, or pretty, it was about having control. As a young adult, I look back on my teenage years and realize that I wasted the best years of my life hating myself for the things I could not change. I felt so inferior to others because I felt like I didn't "fit in." In my mind, I thought people were calling me ugly, fat, a slob, and any other derogatory comment that comes to the imagination. As I grow and learn to accept myself, here's how you can help me/people like me: chose your words ever so carefully.
1. "All Women Feel Insecure!"
Nope. Body Dysmorphia is not exclusive to women. Though women tend to care more about their appearances to the public, men still have the same obsessive, disturbing thoughts about their appearances. Body Dysmorphia can also impact the way you interact with others. In my own experience, my appearance made me feel inferior to others. I thought that people didn't want to talk to me because I was "weird looking".
2. "But You're So Skinny!"
A common misconception is that Body Dysmorphia only pertains to weight. Body Dysmorphia pertains to any physical feature. Whether it's a lazy eye, poor hairline, crooked teeth, etc..
3."If You Feel So Bad About Yourself, How Are You Wearing That?"
There are good days and bad days; days where I feel a little more comfortable in my skin. So, let me. There are days when I can look like everyone else and feel partially normal, yet there are other days where I can be fully covered and still feel exposed.
4. "Have You Looked In The Mirror?!"
Yes, probably about fifteen times already. Not because I want to have a "perfect finished look", but rather that I need to make sure I notice all of my flaws before someone comments on it. I'm only human, of course I want to look presentable.
5. "Who Made You Feel This Way?"
Me. Body Dysmorphia is an enteral issue, I noticed these things about myself before anyone else did. When dealing with this issue, the smallest insult can be soul crushing. No amount of compliments could ever cancel out one harsh comment. To be blunt, no one can "give you Body Dysmorphia", but the criticism of others can make it worse.
6. "It's Sad How Vain Young People Are."
This isn't about being vain, Carol. Rather, it's about having obsessive, distressing thoughts about your body. Yes, it's normal to have insecurities, but to have them rock your world day in and day out is problematic. Instead of calling me vain or conceited, educate yourself.
7. "Maybe If You Watched What You Ate.."
Thank you for that. My diet is fine, by the Doctor's standards I'm an ideal weight! I should feel fine right? Not always. It isn't about the number or the weight I carry, rather the way I carry it. Beauty is arbitrary, to one person I'm thin, to another I'm average, and to some I'm fat. That's just the world we live in, and I'm learning to accept it.
8. "It's A Shame, Girls Have One Bad Boyfriend And They Think They're Fat."
Here we go AGAIN, Carol. Body Dysmorphia doesn't just magically occur when your boyfriend or girlfriend leaves you. Body Dysmorphia is an enteral issue, and having a significant other will never change the way you feel about yourself. Granted, that the heart break diet is absolutely a real thing; however, it does not have a correlation with Body Dysmorphia.
9. "Comparison Will Kill Ya, Sweetie!"
Yes, you're right. We live in an age where we're in constant competition, but must you remind me? Of course I have tried to stop comparing myself to others, but in this generation it is close to impossible.
10. "Do You Know How Many People Would KILL To Look Like You?"
That's very sweet, but as I said it's an eternal issue. Telling me I'm pretty, thin, or "fine the way I am" changes nothing. No ones problems would be solved if they looked like me and that holds true for everyone. Regardless of what body you're in, there will be things that make you feel insecure.
