Looking back on the Civil Rights Movement, the majority of Americans would say we have come a “long way."

We’ve had a black president, we’ve had black people in Congress and the Senate, we’ve broken the myth that black people are inferior to white people and often exceeded expectations instead.

But it’s not enough.

America has entered a state where it is no longer acceptable to be overtly racist to someone, to the point where many believe it doesn’t exist anymore.

Americans believe in colorblindness, or the idea that race itself does not even exist anymore, and we are one big community that is struggling but will learn how to love each other.

Often when you claim that someone has been racist to you, you are being a “snowflake” or you should “get over it”.

We’ve reached the point where people believe that if you associate yourself with black people in any interaction or relationship, you are no longer racist.

This is wrong.

Using your black friends and acquaintances as your get-out-of-jail-free card not only neglects to see the value in their constant struggle with racism but also fails to bring to your attention the fault in many of your everyday behaviors.

Yes, if you are friendly and kind to a black person to the point where you would consider them your friend, you are participating in normal human interaction.

But using this argument that “I have a black friend” to get out of a situation where you may have been racist suggests you know your behavior would be wrong in any other circumstance, but somehow you’ve gained unspoken validation from a black person to do it.

No one is giving you a license to be racist. If you feel the need to defend your actions based on your friendship with a person of color, then these actions are probably wrong.

Furthermore, your “black friend” may feel cornered by your constant usage of the mantra. By having a normal relationship with you, black people haven’t given away their right to their skin color or their culture, and often when being put in these situations with people they consider their friends, it is hard to speak out.

Many mean well when they refer to their “black friend”. Often its someone they’ve come to know and love, spent lots of time with, and learned to respect.

Part of that respect is learning how to see the world as they do. Similar to the phrase, “not to be racist”, having a black friend does not protect from impacting others with the things you say and do.

So, if you do well around people of color to the point where you could even call some of them friends, good job. You’ve accomplished association with humans just like you in a normal environment.

Now take it one step farther and don’t use them a shield to continue your backward thinking. Become aware of when you say phrases like this and why you feel like you should say them.

Instead of feeling guilty and defensive, look deeper into yourself and find the problems you don’t believe are there.

Some might say it's excessive to be so sensitive and to want so much, but it's human nature to want respect and comfort. If you don’t believe everyone is entitled to that, then what’s the point?