If there's one thing I've always found a bit disturbing about American culture, it's how so much is painted in black and white. Don't believe me? Well then track down a newspaper, turn on the T.V. , or surf the internet and you will find it. It's in the billion dollar franchises that send millions of fans flocking into movie theaters each year. Each "latest installment" sticking to the same general plot. It's the good guys versus the bad ones, with a very vaguely defined "justice" prevailing every time. It's in how we see and judge other people. People who are skinny to scarily underweight are considered to be attractive. While others? Not so much. With race often comes stereotypes, as does sexuality. It's in our two party system where you're supposed to vote Republican or Democrat, and if you don't like either of those options then you're screwed, because the voices of any other options are so small that they get drowned out by the mindless garbling of the masses. Small problems quickly snowball into bigger ones and so little gets done because both parties sit in deadlock over what the solution should be. Both being so sure that they're right that they're not willing to bend and compromise in the off chance that they may be wrong.
You see, our black and white way of thinking is slowly tearing us apart by setting everyone up against one another. Each person being so sure of their absolute rightness that they are blinded from even the slightest glimpse the truth. And the results of this ignorance can be horrifying. With ignorance comes acts of violence and hate. People are harmed, cities are burnt, and the planet we call home is slowly poisoned.
When our views are shaken though can it be seen that there is no real right nor is there any real wrong. Good and evil don't exist. Our opinions have been clouding our sight all along. The world we live in is not completely black and white, not even the shades of grey in between are enough to describe it. No. The world we live in is filled with so many colors and shades, there's no real way to name them all. It's something that a lot of us have discovered already, but have still yet to apply.
Like all big problems, the problem with black and white thinking starts with us, or more specifically, the way we speak. Now I am quite certain that most of us have used the words "love" and "hate" to describe things before. As a matter of fact, we usually use a scale of how much we like things when we make judgments. "I love that sweater." "I hated that movie." "I really like this restaurant." "I can't stand that smell." These are all innocent enough statements, but when the subject becomes other human beings and bigger ideas does this wording become a problem, especially when that word is "hate".
Hate is a word that I am incredibly uncomfortable with. Every time I'm tempted to use that word for another human being, I always stop for a moment and imagine what would happen if I said that to their face. Just imagining the hurt in their eyes is enough to get me to stop and realize that I don't actually hate that person at all, they actually just make me uncomfortable.
That right there is the problem with using our scales of liking to judge others. When you like or dislike something, there doesn't have to be a real reason why, it's a gut instinct, you're not expected to explain. So when you draw away from words like that and start to use words like "They make me feel uncomfortable" or "When I think of that I feel sad", do the tints and colors of life start to show. What makes expressing your levels of comfort and feelings about something so powerful is the fact that if allows you to react and grow from your own statements and opinions. If you find that a certain group of people makes you feel uncomfortable then ask yourself why? Why do I feel uncomfortable and what can I do to fix it? You see the thing about comfort levels is that we're always working to make ourselves feel more comfortable in our surroundings and always willing to take a chance and make a change. With our likes and dislikes we're more refined. We're stuck in these labels that we feel like we have to follow.
Think of it like this: every has certain preferences when it comes to food especially spicy. Some people love it, some hate it, and the rest lay somewhere in between. Now if you sit there and insist that you hate spicy food, then you're going to miss out on a lot of unique flavors and some pretty fantastic cuisine since you'll most likely be avoiding it. Now if you were instead to say "Spicy food makes me uncomfortable" then that's a complete other story. By saying that you're uncomfortable, you're now going to sit there and think "Well why am I uncomfortable?" Maybe it's your stomach. Maybe you get heartburn every time you eat it. Well if that's the case then that's just fine! Don't torture yourself by eating spicy. If however you are just uncomfortable with the burning, well then maybe you could try foods that sit at the lower end of the spicy scale. Get to know and enjoy those flavors before casting off spicy food as horrible and a complete masochistic experience. Who knows? You may just find your new favorite dish.
My point is that nobody has the right to say that they hate another human being. Ideally we should all love each other but in reality that's nearly impossible. It's hard enough as it is loving our loved ones at times. So don't. Instead look and see who makes you comfortable. See who makes you uncomfortable and why. If it's their religion then read and do research on it until you know so much that your discomfort ceases to exist. If it's their race or sexuality or anything really, then just sit there and talk to them. Get to know them as a person and realize that they, like you, are a human being trying to make the most out of their life. Living in this world you're going to push a lot of limits. You're more often than not going to have to push out of your comfort zone and do something that you may feel incredibly not ok with. But that's ok, it's what we do in order to become better human beings. We should not and cannot keep on living in our comfort zones, where the only right is your right and the whole world is painted in black and white. Wake up and look around you. The world is beautiful and bright. And that dichotomical view? It's destroying us.
