I find myself thinking about you more than usual around this time of year. April will never be just the beginning of spring, or the finish line right before summer break. But to me, it's the month you were born and taken from us. I am the sister of an angel. And that angel is with me everyday. You would be 22 this year and not a day goes back that i don't wonder what type of guy you would be. Would you be funny, or would you be the serious type? Would you be really good at school, or really good at sports? Would you call me every single day just to check in, or would you pretend not to care (but secretly care a lot)? These things I will never be able to find out. But if you were here, you would never want this month spent in sadness. You would want a party, a celebration, and if you are anything like dad, you'd want a whole week where we do everything for you, because "it's your birthday week". So, I will never dread April 18th because that day will forever be your day. Mom and dad used to help me send you little notes when I just wanted to say hi. We would attach them to balloons and watch as they floated away. Even though I'm sure they didn't quite make it all the way to Heaven, I know you got them. What I wouldn't give to be celebrating with you in person. But I know that one day, when we finally meet up, it's gonna be wild. We will have so many birthdays to celebrate, so many good times to tell each other, so many bad, and so many things to learn about one another. I hope that what I do in life makes you proud, and that you really are looking down on me, protecting me, guiding me, and laughing at me when I make a fool of myself. I try not to think about the "whys" in life. Why were you taken? Why were you not given the chance to lead a life of utter happiness? Why aren't you here to push me around like other big brothers?.. These things I will never know, but one thing is for sure. The answers I would get, would never bring you back. So all I can do is wait until our introduction. Everything I do, is because you never got the chance to. So, Happy Birthday up in Heaven Bud.
Love, Your little sister,
Jordan
