Dear Mom,
I wish you were here. I wish you could see all the accomplishments I've made. I want to call you up right now and just talk to you. This year would have been your 46th birthday. I can't believe how long you have been gone. Every year when your birthday, Mother's Day or the day you left this earth, I always wonder if you are going to come back or if I could go back and stop everything from happening. I remember growing up when you and my dad lived in the apartment. You always knew what to do. You and my dad made a great team. I remember those days when you used to pick me up at my grandparents house on Saturday mornings after me watching Bear in the Big Blue House. You, me and Samantha would either go to McDonald's or Burger King and you would always order the same thing; the pancake breakfast. We used to go over to your apartment and go swim in the pool or listen to music on your giant stereo. I always remember you had my favorite yogurt in the fridge; the dannon vanilla yogurt with sprinkles. You used to take me over to the park with Samantha and we would play on the playground or go bowling at Brunswick Matador Bowl. I love the memories. I remember when you would come over to my grandparents house for Christmas with Samantha and we would open presents together. I remember when you surprised me at my recitals and you were so proud of me. I remember when you came and celebrated my 7th birthday at grandma and grandpa's house. You always made sure I was safe. You were always worried I was going to get hurt when I rode my bike up and down the block.
I remember the last time I saw you. You had a 2003 Toyota Cressida and met me and my dad after my piano lesson and we went and got ice cream at Baskin Robbins. You also gave me my birthday presents; Spider Man movie and scooby-doo. I still have both and sometimes I watch Spider Man for old times sake.
I'll never forget how I felt when I heard from dad that you passed away. The day you died, I went to the park with my brother Jason and dad. My father received a call that night from the Clark County coroner's office that you were admitted to urgent care and they were trying to revive you but you didn't make it. I remember that following Monday, my father took me to a fun day at the beach. It was a beautiful warm day and i didn't even know that dad was going to sit me down and tell me about it. Being only 8 years old, he told me that you were involved in a car accident and my mind went nuts. I didn't believe him, I started screaming and crying, yelling and wondering if you could hear me. I can't believe that I lost you at such a young age. Do you know how hard it was for me those first few years. If it wasn't for my grandmother, I don't know where I would be today. I wish you could have been there for me when my dad couldn't. My dad and grandparents did the best they could and for years, I always wondered if my dad would meet someone and I would get another mom. I realize now that I don't need that and that I will be okay. I miss you very much Mom. I wish I can celebrate your birthday with you. I always pray that you're warm and well and safe in heaven. I wish you best wishes and that down the road, I get to see you again in another light
God Bless and Happy Birthday,
James
