To the Bike Riders who have nearly run me over multiple times,
I fear you, yet I respect you.
You see, there was once a point of my life where to me the bicycle symbolized excitement and independence. When the time came for my monumental shift between the tricycle and the bike, I was gifted a gorgeous pink bicycle equipped with a basket and an obnoxious bell. I rode this bike gleefully down the streets of my neighborhood and besides the time I tumbled off my bike and scraped my knee, my conception of the bicycle was a positive one.
However, I regret to say that you frenzy-riddled, safety-ignorant people have completely dismembered my view of the bicycle into one that is eerily reminiscent of The Hunger Games. It seems as though no matter how many times I look before crossing the street, a bike rider appears out of literally nowhere in a "zoom" orchestrated to coincide precisely with my crossing of the street. I, of course, jump back and release a yelp that is similar to that of a chihuahua, only to notice that the bike rider did not even flinch at causing my near-death experience. The rider's gaze is affixed on what I can only assume is their immortality, because I can not conceive how any life-appreciative person can ride two wheels in a manner as sporadic as the students on my campus.
On my walk to class, I can undoubtedly expect at least three occurrences as the one depicted above, which I find completely terrifying for a two reasons:
1. If I were to collide with a bicycle and attain a grizzly scar from it, I would be genuinely embarrassed to reveal to anyone that it was caused by something as stupid as a bicycle. Imagine saying to your grandchildren "Oh you see this scar on my forehead kids? It's from a bicycle handle."
2. Let's say I do, in fact, get hit by a bicycle. What benefits do I, the theoretical victim, receive from it? If I were to get hit by a respectable vehicle such as a bus, car, or even scooter, I could surely expect some form of retribution, maybe even full tuition payment if I'm lucky. I would undoubtedly be attended by the police or the firefighters, an adequate response to my situation. However, if i were to get hit by a bicycle I am positive that the only thing that would come out of it would be unspeakable embarrassment, pain and my wrath.
Just take the bus.
