I asked my friends, all around the same age group (young adults), what their biggest pet peeves were in a relationship. I wanted to see if there were any similarities in the answers and any unique answers. Here’s what I gathered.
I asked multiple boys and girls this question. I found it not so surprising that the top picks were lack of communication and dishonesty, with being controlling and hypocrisy following closely after.
Others that I felt go together well were clinginess, neediness, immaturity, and moving too fast. I find it funny because some people like the feeling of being needed, and someone is very into them. I am surprised though that more people didn’t say immaturity because it seems to be a big problem in relationships today.
Another one that’s worth mentioning would be the significant other being critical. I see this a lot in relationships, where one puts down the other. There needs to be mutual respect within a relationship.
What I was surprised that was mentioned but not really repeated was infidelity, social media influence and messaging, and getting other people involved in the relationship because I feel like these are number one causes in breakups.
Some honorable mentions of pet peeves would be when someone is not good in bed and when somebody doesn’t flush after using the toilet.
I then decided to take it to the next level and ask an older (but young at heart, of course) age group. Our parents' age group, and here is what they have to say.
Most of the people I asked are married, so I figured the answers would be different and maybe a little more personal.
These answers were a little more all over the board. Lack of communication and dishonesty were repeated, but also manners and treating others accordingly, and messiness was mentioned. Which I thought was interesting but understandable considering marriage typically means living together and always being together, versus the younger crowd where dating doesn’t necessarily mean always being around each other.
Another good one that needs to be mentioned is passive aggressiveness, and I’m honestly surprised it wasn’t mentioned more. It seems to be a common thing in all age groups.
My friend's mom made a good point that pet peeves tend to change through the years, they tend to be focused on what’s bothering the person at the time. For instance, hers was laundry being done half-assed.
I think the conclusion is, no matter what age, lacking in communication and dishonesty are the biggest concerns in relationships. Pet peeves are individually unique to you, and while there may be some repetition, you seem to create them through experience. Pet peeves are natural and normal. It actually seems to make the relationship stronger. If you can overcome and compromise whatever is bothering you and your partner, then you are setting yourself up for a stronger and happier relationship.