After learning to trust you - it was really hard for me to not believe what you said. I remember replaying the constant conversations that didn't make sense in my head, wondering why I was that dumb to believe them.
I remember when I was seventeen thinking I knew what love was. I seemed so desperate - desperate enough to degrade my self-worth and give you so many chances that you just didn't deserve.
I always had to convince myself that I trusted you, but in all reality, I didn't - I just didn't want to lose you. I knew no relationship would work, if there wasn't trust so I forced it within the bond we created.
After countless nights always questioning where you were or what you were doing - it was so exhausting I couldn't keep up, anymore. Not receiving any texts, or calls back and listening to all the different stories you made up so you wouldn't "hurt me," made me realize what I did and didn't deserve. To this day, I ask myself why I even had to question your loyalty - thinking to myself I would just want you to lie to my face anyways because I made myself believe that "I needed you," or at least thought I did. But, on the bright side, at least you were honest about the whole situation. But, apparently after doing what you did, my heart didn't care and I tried putting it behind us. In the end, of course it didn't work out - I knew it wouldn't....
Besides that, I forgave you - I forgave you after you were with somebody else. I forgave you after you lied numerous times - but I only forgave you because you didn't deserve me to even hold a grudge on you. You didn't deserve me to even be thinking about you or what you did to me. You deserved the very little of me wishing you the best of luck in life - but I did.. I did it, anyways for my sake, not yours.
I wanted to let you know time to time when you beg for me back that I could never be dumb enough to allow someone like you back in my life.
But, in all honestly this article isn't to put you down - it's simply to thank you. You're probably wondering why I would thank you for cheating on me or doing me wrong - but thank you for allowing me to see the evil in you. Thank you for allowing me to realize that I didn't deserve the bullshit, and I deserve someone who will only love me. Thank you for allowing me to realize how strong, and intelligent I am without you. Thank you for the learning experience - because after you did me wrong, I have been so cautious and careful. I'm just really happy I learned not to get so attached to certain people - because if they did me wrong like you did, I wouldn't care so much. But, seriously thanks. Thanks for allowing me to see my self-worth - but thank you for realizing you didn't deserve my love one bit. I wish I could have set it on a fire and watched it melt right in front of you.
Not many people have the courage to say thank you - but I do. I've learned so much throughout the healing process. I learned to never allow someone to ever treat me the way you did ever again, along with becoming the strong person that I am today because of the mistake you made.
Thank you from the bottom of my heart. Thank you for doing me wrong so many times that I FINALLY gave up - because if it weren't for you I'd still be the weak, innocent girl I always was that allowed everybody to walk all over me. So, thank you.
