Growing up nearly five years apart hasn’t been easy. We were never close enough in age to bond over similar troubles nor were we far enough in age to ignore the other’s existence. Stuck in an awkward middle, we made it work.

There was a time when I was attached at your hip. I thought you were the coolest person on the planet, so I made a point to do everything you did. Sorry if you found that annoying. Hopefully all the times I waited on your hand and foot for hours just to get thirty minutes of playing time on the PlayStation made up for it.

Naturally, we didn’t always get along.

I remember a period of time where we wanted absolutely nothing to do with one another. Nasty name calling, a fat lip, and a lot of yelling later, you had suddenly grown up. You were always gone for one reason or another, and when you were home, you camped out in the basement with never much to say.

Sometimes I would sit on the couch and watch you play video games, searching for something to say in hopes that things would go back to the way they once were, but instead, I just enjoyed your presence.

If I’m being completely honest, I used to be jealous. Maybe that’s my middle child syndrome speaking, but you seemed to be the favorite child who had everything, and our younger brother was spoiled rotten. Which left me to just…exist.

Even as I threw myself a pity party, you were the only person I ever looked up to.

As I went off to college nearly 700 miles from everything I’ve known, I’m glad you are only 60 miles away with a free meal and good conversation. It’s meant the world to me during a chaotic year.

Thanks for being my big brother.