Big 6 to Making a Long Distance Relationship Work

Big 6 to Making a Long Distance Relationship Work

This long distance thing is tough but it won't work if you're going to sit back and wait for them to want what you do.
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Long distance relationships always get a lot of heat and many people have doubt in whether it'll work or not. What many don't realize is not every long distance relationship is doomed from the start. Yes it's hard and takes a lot of work. Deciding if that work is worth it is the first conversation that you and your significant other should have.

Being in a long distance relationship of my own that isn't going to be long distance anymore, I have realized and learned a lot. Most couples make it harder than it needs to be. I learned that there are 6 basic things you and your significant other can do to make your relationship succeed.

1) Communication

This is the biggest, most important one in my opinion. Not many couples are lucky where their class schedules line up and you're both good at texting back fairly quickly. However, finding time to talk is important. In order for a long distance relationship to work, you both have to know that the other person is there.

Also, talk about your day. Tell them about the stupid thing your friend did or how terribly you think you did on a test. Talk about what they are doing that is bothering you and listen when they tell you about their feelings. If one of you is more focused on talking instead of listening, your relationship won't make it very far.

2) Trust

You're a long ways away from one another. You're going to be constantly wondering what they are up to especially if they aren't texting you back. You need to trust that your significant other is being faithful. Don't become too jealous when your boyfriend talks about another girl and don't become obsessed when your girlfriend talks about her new guy friend. If even one of you has a slight doubt that your significant other will be faithful during this journey, it's going to become fairly difficult to make it work.

Your partner will become upset that you don't trust them, assume that you're accusing them because you're doing something with someone else. This is when tension builds and arguments over little things start to happen.

3) Talk

Make a schedule to talk to one another and no, I do not mean texting. Whether both of you have an iPhone and can FaceTime or you Skype or just short chats on the phone every once in awhile, sit down and figure out a time to talk. Don't think that your significant other doesn't want to talk to you because I can guarantee they do. Be the bigger person. Which leads me to my fourth key to making it work.

4) Say what you want

I know some of you were reading #3 and thinking something along the lines of "why do I always have to do that" or "I just want to feel like they want to talk to me like I want to talk with them" or "that's not fair". I get it, I was the same way. However what I realized is there's no time to be petty. If you want to talk on the phone, see if their busy. If you want to skype, ask. If you want to see them, ask if they're free or there's any way you can make it happen. This long distance thing is tough but it won't work if you're going to sit back and wait for them to want what you do. Life is too short and the year will be over before you know it. You can have the conversation about expecting what you give back later. Ask for what you want.

5a) Have some fun

This one may throw some people off but this is important too. I know some people aren't comfortable with sending pics and other things like that and if you are not, do not step out of your comfort zone. Your significant other should respect you. This one's for the girls who aren't afraid to do so. Your boyfriend or girlfriend is going through the same thing you are. You both want the same thing and miss each other. Have a little fun. Schedule a night once a week or whatever you are comfortable with to do what you guys enjoying doing.

5b) Snapchat

I'm sure your partner is missing your face as much as you're missing theirs. Don't be afraid to send a ridiculous picture of yourself with a filter or even a cute one after you finish getting ready for the day. This one is for the girls up above as well. Sometimes you just want to see their face or hear their voice. A picture or a video could make both of your days.

6) Unconditional Love

You are going to go through hell. There are going to be times when you want to give up. If you remember that you love each other and find a way to work through the hard times, you two will be unstoppable. No relationship ever survived because someone didn't care. You have to dedicate a lot to make this work and having that love for one another is going to help you feel a lot more at ease.

There are a lot more small things that you can do to help this process but, due to my own experience, those were the big 6 that I found to help me and my relationship the most. It hasn't been easy all the time. However, knowing I wasn't the only one feeling this way and missing him helped this whole process.

Just remember that if you want it to work, make it work. Life is too short. Don't be afraid to fight for what you want.

Cover Image Credit: Pexels

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Why Your Grandma Is Your Biggest Blessing In Life

Because nobody loves you more than she does.
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There are many people in your life you are thankful for: Mom, Dad, siblings, cousins, best friends, teachers, neighbors, you name it. You are grateful to have people who constantly support you, who pick you up when you're down and love you unconditionally. But the one person who stands out among the rest of them is your grandma.

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Ever since you were little, you and your grandma have always had a special connection. Going over to Grandma's house for the night was something you looked forward to. She knew how to entertain you at your best and worst moments. No matter what you did together, you loved it. Being with your grandma wasn't like being at home or with your parents – it was better. You went to the park, made cookies, went out to dinner, got a “sweet treat" at the mall, played Go Fish, took a bubble bath for as long as you wanted and got way too much dessert than you should have. You did things you weren't supposed to do, but Grandma didn't stop you. Because at Grandma's house there were no rules, and you didn't have to worry about a single thing. Being with Grandma was the true epitome of childhood. She let you be you. She always made sure you had the best time when you were with her, and she loved watching you grow up with a smile on your face.

The older you got, your weekend excursions with your grandma weren't as frequent, and you didn't get to see her as much. You became more and more busy with school, homework, clubs, sports, and friends. You made the most out of your time to see her, and you wished you could be with her more. Although you were in the prime of your life, she mattered even more to you the older you both became. You were with your friends 24/7, but you missed being with your grandma. When the time rolled around, and you got the chance to spend time with her, she told you never to apologize. She wanted you to go out, have fun and enjoy life the way it makes you happy.

Reflecting back on these moments with your grandma, you realize how truly special she is to you. There is no one who could ever compare to her nor will there ever be. All your life, there is no one who will be as sweet, as caring, as sincere or as genuine as her. Even though you're all grown up now, there are things about your grandma that never changed from when you were a kid. She still takes you out for your favorite meal because she knows how important eating out means to you. She writes you letters and sends you a $5 bill every now and then because she knows you're a hard-working college student with no money. She still helps you with all of your Christmas shopping because she knows it's your tradition. She still asks what's new with your young life because hearing about it makes her day and she still loves you to no end. Your grandma is your biggest blessing (whether you knew it or not), and she always will be no matter what.

Cover Image Credit: Erin Kron

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It's A Blessing And A Curse Having A Long-Distance Best Friend, But Remember This

She's your person. She just happens to be far away.

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You've heard all the cliché quotes: "Your best friend is like the stars, you can't always see her, but you always know she's there." And it's easy to roll your eyes because it doesn't make it any easier when you're having a bad day and all you want is a hug from your go-to girl, but she's thousands of miles away.

It isn't easy to have a long-distance best friend. And sometimes it can feel like the biggest inconvenience and curse, but other times it's the biggest blessing.

First, it teaches you to not take anything for granted and cherish the times you do have together.

You might not get to see each other all the time, and sometimes it can be months without seeing each other but when you do get together it's like no time has passed and you both know to cherish all the hugs and face-to-face contact because it won't last forever. It also helps you appreciate the friends you do get to see every day and not take them for granted because they're awesome too!

Second, it's always good to have someone far away to talk to.

Sometimes life is hard, or someone gets on your nerves and you just need to rant but you never want to risk it getting back to them. Having that best friend who will love you and listen to you rant and threaten to come and kill anyone hurting you even though they've never met any of the people you're talking about is truly a gift.

Third, you know that your friendship can last anything.

If you live thousands of miles away and can still call her your best friend; chances are it's going to last a lifetime. It's not always easy to figure out time zones, or class schedules, or to make time to talk on a regular basis. But they're your person still. You know they will always be there for you and you will always be there for them. You might not be able to go on late night ice cream runs or watch your favorite shows and movies together, but at the end of the day, it doesn't matter because you would do anything for each other and the long distance is worth it to call her your best friend.

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