Big 6 to Making a Long Distance Relationship Work

Big 6 to Making a Long Distance Relationship Work

This long distance thing is tough but it won't work if you're going to sit back and wait for them to want what you do.
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Long distance relationships always get a lot of heat and many people have doubt in whether it'll work or not. What many don't realize is not every long distance relationship is doomed from the start. Yes it's hard and takes a lot of work. Deciding if that work is worth it is the first conversation that you and your significant other should have.

Being in a long distance relationship of my own that isn't going to be long distance anymore, I have realized and learned a lot. Most couples make it harder than it needs to be. I learned that there are 6 basic things you and your significant other can do to make your relationship succeed.

1) Communication

This is the biggest, most important one in my opinion. Not many couples are lucky where their class schedules line up and you're both good at texting back fairly quickly. However, finding time to talk is important. In order for a long distance relationship to work, you both have to know that the other person is there.

Also, talk about your day. Tell them about the stupid thing your friend did or how terribly you think you did on a test. Talk about what they are doing that is bothering you and listen when they tell you about their feelings. If one of you is more focused on talking instead of listening, your relationship won't make it very far.

2) Trust

You're a long ways away from one another. You're going to be constantly wondering what they are up to especially if they aren't texting you back. You need to trust that your significant other is being faithful. Don't become too jealous when your boyfriend talks about another girl and don't become obsessed when your girlfriend talks about her new guy friend. If even one of you has a slight doubt that your significant other will be faithful during this journey, it's going to become fairly difficult to make it work.

Your partner will become upset that you don't trust them, assume that you're accusing them because you're doing something with someone else. This is when tension builds and arguments over little things start to happen.

3) Talk

Make a schedule to talk to one another and no, I do not mean texting. Whether both of you have an iPhone and can FaceTime or you Skype or just short chats on the phone every once in awhile, sit down and figure out a time to talk. Don't think that your significant other doesn't want to talk to you because I can guarantee they do. Be the bigger person. Which leads me to my fourth key to making it work.

4) Say what you want

I know some of you were reading #3 and thinking something along the lines of "why do I always have to do that" or "I just want to feel like they want to talk to me like I want to talk with them" or "that's not fair". I get it, I was the same way. However what I realized is there's no time to be petty. If you want to talk on the phone, see if their busy. If you want to skype, ask. If you want to see them, ask if they're free or there's any way you can make it happen. This long distance thing is tough but it won't work if you're going to sit back and wait for them to want what you do. Life is too short and the year will be over before you know it. You can have the conversation about expecting what you give back later. Ask for what you want.

5a) Have some fun

This one may throw some people off but this is important too. I know some people aren't comfortable with sending pics and other things like that and if you are not, do not step out of your comfort zone. Your significant other should respect you. This one's for the girls who aren't afraid to do so. Your boyfriend or girlfriend is going through the same thing you are. You both want the same thing and miss each other. Have a little fun. Schedule a night once a week or whatever you are comfortable with to do what you guys enjoying doing.

5b) Snapchat

I'm sure your partner is missing your face as much as you're missing theirs. Don't be afraid to send a ridiculous picture of yourself with a filter or even a cute one after you finish getting ready for the day. This one is for the girls up above as well. Sometimes you just want to see their face or hear their voice. A picture or a video could make both of your days.

6) Unconditional Love

You are going to go through hell. There are going to be times when you want to give up. If you remember that you love each other and find a way to work through the hard times, you two will be unstoppable. No relationship ever survived because someone didn't care. You have to dedicate a lot to make this work and having that love for one another is going to help you feel a lot more at ease.

There are a lot more small things that you can do to help this process but, due to my own experience, those were the big 6 that I found to help me and my relationship the most. It hasn't been easy all the time. However, knowing I wasn't the only one feeling this way and missing him helped this whole process.

Just remember that if you want it to work, make it work. Life is too short. Don't be afraid to fight for what you want.

Cover Image Credit: Pexels

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Cole And Sav LaBrant Give Me Hope That Our Generation Isn't Defined By Hookup Culture

Let's make "dating" a trend again.

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In case you haven't heard, Savannah and Cole's relationship is literally #goals.

From how they met to the way they kept Jesus in the center of everything they did, their relationship shows us that not all guys (and girls) just want to "hook up" or have a one night stand.

Being in college, it can be very hard to distance yourself from hookup culture because almost everyone participates in it in some way. This can mean meeting a random guy at a frat party and then going home with him that night, or it can mean sending a "You up?" text at 2 in the morning with only one intention in mind.

We, as a generation, don't date anymore.

A boy doesn't ask a girl (in person) to go to dinner and a movie anymore. If they are to do it, it's done over text and is totally impersonal. If a boy picks up a girl from their house, they honk the car horn instead of ring the doorbell.

But, some people still follow these few simple rules of dating. Some men choose to look nice for a date, bring the girl flowers, and only has the intention of getting to know the girl better, instead of only wanting to have sex with her by the end of the night.

So, boys, take the hint from Cole LaBrant.

Pursue that girl (or guy), even if she lives on the other side of the country. Put the relationship into God's hands, and He will guide you in the right direction.

The Bible also tells us to stay pure in our relationships until marriage.

For many, it can be very hard to keep this commitment to purity because everyone around us is saying to do the exact opposite.

1 Corinthians 6:18-20 says, "Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins inside their own body. Do you not know your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore, honor God with your bodies."

This verse does not condemn us for what we have done in the past. If you've had sex in the past, know that it is okay.

Even if you knew Jesus at the time, know that it is okay, because we serve a God of forgiveness and love. He knows that we are not perfect humans and that we are bound to mess up from time to time. So, do not judge yourself or others for what you have done in the past. The only thing you can do is to move forward with your eyes on Jesus.

Cole and Savannah have been very open about the ups and downs of their relationship on their YouTube channel, and also in their new book. They realize their relationship isn't perfect, and it gives us hope that our relationships don't need to be picture perfect either. If you slip up in your relationship, talk through it in open honesty, and move forward.

Image Credit: Cole and Savannah LaBrant on YouTube

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How Starting Your Journey Is Half Of The Battle

"You can start your journey any day at anytime."

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Not that long ago, I wrote an article about a little phrase I heard on my friend's snapchat story. It got a tone of views and a lot of great feedback. And just in time for the beginning of the new school semester, he said something else that just kind of stuck with me.

He said that you can start your journey any day, at any time.

Okay so we've all heard this before but have any of us actually taken the time to put that saying into action? Well, quite recently I have. I used to be the type of person who waited until last minute to do everything, whether it was homework, a workout plan or whatever I wanted to accomplish. I used to be the type of person who said that at whatever time I'll start my homework and if it was a minute past that time I would have to wait to the start of the new hour....yes like the meme.

But now, ever since I heard that quote, it's been replaying in my head on a loop. Which is why I now just do things at the moment they're thought of and not a certain time. I decided that this is the semester, I don't wait until the last minute to do all of my work, and so far it's going well. I decided that this is the perfect time to get in shape, and not wait until the New Year, because I'm the skinniest most out of shape person that I know. I decided that instead of waiting until the new year to eat healthier that I'm going to do it now.

For a while I have wanted to get back into dance. I kept saying that I'll sign up for classes again when I finish school. But instead I decided to do it now, registered for a ballet class at school and signed up for ballroom dance, and it hands down has been one of the best decisions I have made.

Honestly it's been weird not having a set start date and time for certain things, but why would I put off doing something that I want to do? What I will say though, is that not procrastinating on homework has made these first couple of weeks of the semester fly by and seem like a breeze.

Just by letting go of the idea that every thing needs to have a set start date and time and a set date and time to end has made the pressure of things go away. By just starting my journey for whatever I'm doing right now, has increased my happiness and my overall productivity of what I'm doing.

So a little word of advice just go for and just do whatever you want to do right now.

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