Lately, I have been stressed, overwhelmed and wanting nothing to do with the world around me. I try to show a happy face and get through the day but it is not enough. I will be honest, I am a Christian, but I could do more. Some days are harder than others for me and I forget my Lord. As I am approaching these past couple of weeks for midterms, projects and assignments, I would lay on my bed and look up at the fairy lights hanging over and think. It must get better, I cannot feel this empty and stressed. I have not picked up my Bible in a while so when I walked over to my desk and pulled it out, I was sad because I could not remember the last time I opened it.

I skimmed through some pages and remembered that my mom used to read some scriptures to me and luckily those were tagged in my copy so I read them. A lot were comforting, but there were some that just hit right home on how I felt and how I needed to be strong. Some quotes that stood out to me were:

John 14:27

Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.

I stress all the time, and with that it can really put a toll on my heart. Knowing that God can give me peace rather than something that the world can give really put some thought bubbles in my mind.

Proverbs 16:13

Commit to the LORD whatever you do, and he will establish your plans.

I always thought this way, but seeing it in writing made me feel more secure. Since I was a little girl, I believed that committing to Him and trusting him would help me follow the path that I am supposed to follow. Even if at that moment I do not think that is the path I should be taking. I think of the saying, “Everything happens for a reason.”

Luke 21:19

Stand firm, and you will win life.

I just thought this was a strong verse that I may or may not make a poster of it and hang it in my room later on. Confidence is something that can bring reassurance to us. I, myself, struggle with finding confidence or courage in myself and I tend to get timid. But you cannot win in life, or better yet your life unless you plant your ground.

Psalm 118:6

The LORD is with me; I will not be afraid. What can mere mortals do to me?

This one made me say “retweet” out loud in my room. Everyone and everything on this Earth is temporary. That is just fact. So when I come across a situation when I feel doubtful of myself or if I feel like someone will do something bad to me or judge me, I have to remember that the Almighty God has me and will not give me anything he knows I cannot truly handle. Even if at that time, I feel like I cannot.

Romans 8:6

The mind governed by the flesh is death, but the mind governed by the Spirit is life and peace.

I feel like, especially in Today’s time, we are materialistic. We are obsessed with getting things. We focus so much on what is on our phones, or what is the latest clothes or the fastest car that it clutters our minds. Whenever I “renew” myself by talking to Christ, I feel better, I really do; and I am not saying if you do not believe in God that your a bad person or anything. In honesty, I think everyone should just believe in something. Something that can be like a North Star for your life and point us in the right direction.

Luke 21:34

Be careful, or your hearts will be weighed down with carousing, drunkenness and the anxieties of life, and that day will close on you suddenly like a trap.

Unfortunately, this is me almost on the daily. My anxiety controls my life. I hate to admit it, but it does. Whether I am in classrooms, in movie theatres, even talking to my closest friends. I let so much into my life and my spirit that it almost does not know what to do with it, which makes me fizz out by the end of the day.

Psalm 16:8

I keep my eyes always on the LORD. With him at my right hand, I will not be shaken.

The Lord is my best friend. Sadly, I have neglected Him time and time again. My life feels more centered when I pay attention to Him and I feel like my life is falling all around me when I know He is there for me. My world will not collapse, no matter how crappy it may seem and boy does it get crappy some days.

I guess the point of it all is, it took me all this stress, all my late night crying and panic attacks to say out loud, “trust." I have been so busy with everything and everyone around me, I stopped breathing, I stopped going to my center and the world started falling apart around me. Whether you believe in God or not, I hope you were able to take something out of this pile of cluttered thoughts that I dumped on the world. I think the world needs to believe in something more and maybe it will help us understand better. *cue throwing fairy dust in the night sky*