This is a letter for my forever friend and me to read when we disagree. Which, incidentally, seems to be a lot.
We met in kindergarten, but I don’t remember actually meeting you. Funnily enough, I do remember meeting your mom because I really did not believe you that she was your mom. Anyway, when I try to remember how we became friends, I really think it is a mystery. For every thing we have in common, there is a more obvious difference. It seems like a bigger deal now, because we are older and the things that we disagree on are more worldly issues. But truthfully, we have always been this way.
Think about it. We have been different all along. Your mom went to K-State; my dad went to KU. You were a girly-girl; I was a tomboy. You were Catholic; I still don’t understand why we didn’t deserve communion. You had several crushes, even a “boyfriend” or two; I crushed on the same boy from a few years before I met you until about middle school -even though he had various girlfriends during that time. You chose Backstreet Boys; I chose N’Sync. You travelled and visited Ireland (what seemed like a lot); I never even owned a passport until this year. It is funny to me now, how often people thought we were twins, and how convinced some of them were that we were lying about not even being sisters when we were truly so different.
Yet through all that time, there was never a doubt in my mind who my absolute best friend was. We both had other close friends and other best friends come along –remember how jealous we both were of our "shared bf," Nikita? But, even after my family moved away, I never doubted that our friendship would hold strong. And I always had a flip-flop or a clover to remind me of that.
Now, beyond college, the things we disagree on would tear many friendships to shreds. But not us. Apparently we have been practicing for this our whole lives. Honestly, I kind of like it. We both have always appreciated being unique, and this is definitely one of those things. Instead of breaking us down, it makes us stronger. We have both always been stubborn and hard-headed, but you have always had a stronger voice, while I have always retreated and observed. It should be no surprise to me that you are an activist for women. Which, by the way, I really admire. But seriously, do you remember sitting in the top of the slide in elementary school and telling me why you hoped you would never settle down and get married? You said you wanted to prove that women could be successful without a man to fall back on. Oh, and because you wanted to be a heartbreaker, but without hurting anyone that much. And it should be no surprise to you that I don’t like Hillary Clinton. I mean, she is pretty successfully trying to ruin my lifelong dream of being the first female president!
Some of our newer differences amuse me a little. Who would ever have thought that you would be the one to still be with your high school sweetheart and that I would have been the one to marry a foreigner I had just met? Yeah. Nobody saw that coming.
One of the best parts of our relationship, is probably that we disagree, open-mindedly. I mean, how many people have the type of unconditional love where the other can tell us that we are an idiot, and then get us to listen to why? There are not a lot of people that can get away with that kind of thing. We don’t exactly say that, but it’s that level of argument that can really grow a person. Plus, when you serve me your opinions and back-them up so well, I really consider what you say and learn a lot from you regardless of whether or not I necessarily agree with it. Lately I’ve been really bad about finding something that intrigues me and throwing it out to see what people think about it. You usually take the bait, and though sometimes I start off a little offended and worried that you think I am a nutcase, I typically end up feeling even more confused about what a good solution for the issue could be. It's not as though we have never had anything in common, either. We have enjoyed many of the same activities and have mostly the same fundamental values.
I remember walking to band one day in seventh grade. We were holding hands and someone asked us if we loved each other. Of course we did. Then that student called us lesbians and everyone around us sniggered. I was horrified! I knew I loved you more than I could imagine, but did I love you like that without even realizing? I seriously had to examine my feelings and determine that the thought of trying to kiss you grossed me out to no end! But of course I will always love you that much. Just never in that way. Even with all our differences.
Our rare sort of friendship may never be understood, but when it comes down to it, we come to different conclusions, and we express them in different ways, but our hearts are usually in the same place and that is what is most important. That is the glue that holds us together and that is the only part that I care about. I’m pretty sure the only disagreement that will last our whole lives is cats vs dogs. I don’t know about you, but I’m perfectly alright with that.
