So you've finally got the opportunity to ask someone whatever you would like and you draw a complete blank.
The basic questions rise to your tongue and you ask them about their major and what they want to do with it, how boring. Getting to know someone new is super exciting and here's the thing, you do not have to ask a question completely out of the ordinary to get to know anyone's true character. Heres just a few simple questions to get the ball rolling.
1. Ask them about their family.
Although this is a very common question, if you are talking to the right person the conversation can explore parts of them that small talk would not. Asking about their family not only gets a feel for what you are going to constantly be around if it works out, but it gives you a preview of how they handle certain situations.
Every single aspect of a person's family shapes who they become down the road, just this simple information can show a lot more than people think. All families have issues, all families are different, therefore when trying to explore someone's character asking them about their family is the first step.
2. Ask them about their fatal flaw.
Not a lot of people will admit their weakest trait right from the start but if they are an open person, this is a great start to getting to know someone. Admitting a weakness is never easy but once you do, a strong base for either a friendship or a relationship begins to build.
3. Ask them about past relationships.
Relationships, a topic that most people will advise to stray away from when you are meeting someone new but what better way to get to know someone then to hear stories about their past experiences.
Past relationships build you, teach you lessons and leave you more knowledgeable than before. Although there is a thin line between letting someone new know your views on certain aspects of relationships and comparing them to your ex, asking about someone's past is a great way to find out more about them if they are willing to share.
4. Ask them about their favorite pastimes.
The best way to catch someone's attention is to show them that you genuinely want to know more about them. Asking what they enjoy doing in their free time is the perfect way to focus the conversation on them. Not only does this promote an opportunity to find more in common, it gives you a way to possibly make future plans.
5. Ask them about a show they loved.
Whether you're into Vampire Diaries, Dexter or Stranger Things, binge-watching Netflix is a past time we are all guilty of. What a better way to explore someone's interests than to figuratively dive into someone's ‘suggested for you’ section. Exploring the genre of shows or movies someone enjoys is a perfect way to pick up on a lot of their interests.
6. Ask them about a place they visited.
Hearing someone describe a place that put a fire in them is a great way to familiarize with their emotions. Not all of us have been backpacking through Thailand or cruised across the Atlantic but even the simple places close to home can bring memories soaring in and conversation flowing.
7. Ask them about their first job.
How a person handles their first job says a lot about their motivation, determination and work ethic. A person's ability to maintain a job, start from the bottom, get promoted or handle taking orders exhibits a good amount of who they really are. Majority of us have embarrassing, exciting or hilarious work memories, discussing these is a great way to spark conversation!
In asking all these questions pick up on the way they explain the things that mean the most to them. The only way to determine someone's true character is not to see how they will interact with you but to pick up on how they treat others. I hope the person you are interested in is reciprocating these questions and it leads you into some of the best conversations you've ever had.
Triggering someone's past, asking them to admit their weakness or channeling their inner adventure isn't always easy when getting to know someone but if they are willing to share, it should ignite a pathway into their true character.
