So if you’re looking at the dropping temperature and thinking it’s time for some Ugg boots and a sugar-free, non-fat, fancy, light-on-the-whipped-cream latte from Starbucks, then you’re a total #betch. And if that is true, and you haven’t been on the Betches Love This website, then you’re doing something wrong. That website is just, like, the rules of feminism.
However, that website features the betchiest of betchy college schools in their blogs titled, “Betches Love This: [insert college name here].” And the betchiest of the SEC schools is missing. One with a good football team (I guess I should say decent instead), hot girls and a whole lot of partying. If you haven’t guessed it yet, it’s the University of Georgia.
If you’re into curled hair, Daisy Dukes and boots then you’ve found your school. Located an hour and thirty minutes from ATL (if you don’t know what that is, you’re on the wrong site), this cute college town has everything you could ever want in a school. I’m gonna give you a map like Janis Ian gave Cady in the cafeteria, and if you don’t get that reference, time to tap out your wifi.
OK, so let’s start with the people:
The People
In-staters: These are your basic betches from Marietta, East Cobb, Sandy Springs, Buckhead…. Every place in ATL that you can purchase an acai bowl. These are girls who wear Tory Burch flip flops and take every opportunity they can to not eat in the dining hall.
The rest of the in-staters: These people will probably tell you where they are from by saying what county they live in. Some of these girls are similar to the ATL girls if they live in some of the nicer places, but a large majority of these in-staters know how to milk a cow. OK, that might be exaggeration—but they definitely don’t know what Bloomingdale's is.
Out-of-staters: So obviously, the rest of them are out-of-staters. Out-of-staters get #pissed when in-staters talk about tuition. There’s a pretty big mix of the types of out-of-staters. There are Long Island, New York, Jersey, and Boca people vs. straight outta Wyoming.
The Greeks: Well, this is Athens (laugh, I made a Greek joke). While UGA is way too big to say everyone is in Greek life, most people are. For girls, rush week is a week filled with lots of makeup, tears, tight curls, pearl earrings and white dresses. We’re in the South, which means that the girl in front of you on the bus sprayed an entire bottle of hairspray on her hair so her curls look like Honey Boo Boo’s. And if you were lucky to attend SDT’s Greek Grind, you know these girls go all out.
The Athletes: These athletes are celebrities. If a betch sees a football player in her class, you bet her GroupMe already knows. (Pics or it didn’t happen).
The Grady and Terry Kids and anyone taking O-Chem: Hang out with these kids for two minutes, and you’ll know that they are in a “really competitive major.”
During the Day You Should:
Get an eno and do work outside, but make sure you post a Snapstory (if you go outside and no one knows, did you really go outside?).
Go to Rush (the trampoline place). Post an Insta so people know you’re a #goodtime.
Visit the tree that owns itself or the Botanical Gardens if you’re a #tourist.
Go shopping in downtown: Pitaya, Cheeky Peach, Threads, and if your parents are in town, Heery’s.
At Night You Should
- If you seriously don’t know by now, that’s embarrassing. Just act like you know where to go.
Spring Break
Freshmen: Gulf Shores
Sophomores and Juniors: Anywhere they are #legal.
Food
Shokitini: If you’re a real betch, then you eat sushi. Sit at the sushi bar and they give you free food. (But pay for the bill on Daddy’s credit card.)
Mama’s Boy: If you’re a southern betch, then you know how to brunch. It’s simple; Mama’s Boy just does it better.
Athens Bagel Company: After a night out, you can find your #betch here. Nothing like bagels on a Sunday morning.
R.U. Hungry?: Used to be Lazy—now this is the spot. Say hello to my main man, Felix. He’ll hook you up big time.
Barberitos: Only decent when its 3 a.m., and it’s still not even good.
Eddie’s Calzones: No one ever remembers what Eddie's Calzones tastes like.
Insomnia: Order the s’mores cookie—you’ll thank me later.
Last Resort: The ultimate #betch’s place to go when her parents are in town
xx,
your favorite betch
