If you are a second semester senior and haven't started crying in inconvenient places around campus then quite frankly you're doing college wrong. College is a rollercoaster of emotions and unfortunately those emotions sometimes hit you while you are in less than ideal places. Especially if you, like me, cry over random things rather than something that makes sense to be sad about. I could trip, fall down a staircase and break an arm and I wouldn't even tear up but if I were to finish the last piece of gum in a pack that would instantly turn on the waterworks. Earlier this semester, a man that I had never met before stopped and helped me shovel my car out of the snow without me asking and as I was driving to my internship I got all choked up about how kind and generous he was to do that in the bloody Arctic tundra.
I have come to terms with the fact that it doesn't matter if I'm happy, sad, stressed, angry, craving a bagel, or irritated because the birds chirping outside my window woke me up ten whole minutes before my alarm was set to go off. There is no rhyme or reason to what will make me break down in tears.
So behold, my gift to you as I come to the end of my college career. A comprehensive list of the best places to cry on our glorious campus. And I would know because I've exhausted every possible location.
1. Your professor's office while he/she is holding office hours
You will have someone to comfort you and your professor could also possibly take pity on you and grant you an extension on your paper, so it's pretty much two birds with one stone.
2. Any and all bathrooms
Preferably the single person ones but that isn't a necessity. After all, you might happen to stumble across another crying person in the multi-person bathrooms and group crying is always therapeutic.
3. A freshman common room
They are equipped with kitchens now so you can cook yourself comfort food to mend your sadness.
4. Right outside the admissions building
Specifically as soon as a group of prospective students begins their tour of campus. You can offer them a raw, real look at what being in college entails.
5. President Berger-Sweeney's front porch
Or her back yard. You don't want to startle her if she has to use her front door.
6. The basement of AD
The basement of the Hall is another option. Both are prime locations.
7. The back doorstep of your ex's townhouse
8. Your car
9. Your car parked in front of your ex's townhouse
10. One of the dance rooms in Trinity Commons
So no one will disturb you during your interpretive dance to Celine Dion's It's All Coming Back to Me Now.
11. The back row of McCook auditorium during a common hour lecture on immigration
This one is very specific, but the lecture on immigration is a must.
12. The middle of Mather
(Actually, in retrospect I've done this before and I would highly recommend against it)
