Best Moments Of John Mulaney: The Comeback Kid

John Mulaney did a stand-up comedy special in November that is available for streaming on Netflix.

If you haven’t seen it yet, stop reading and watch it immediately. It's worth every minute.

I never really enjoyed comedy. Getting paid to crack jokes didn’t make sense to me. I crack jokes everyday, but I’m not getting paid. Maybe I’m just a little salty because I chose journalism over comedy. However, John Mulaney is one of the best comedians around.

The Comeback Kid will have you laughing nonstop. His jokes are quotable and can be referenced all the time.

Below is a list of the best moments that John Mulaney presented in The Comeback Kid.

“Hey, you could pour soup in my lap and I’ll probably apologize to you.”

Mulaney is a thin, dark-haired, Christian guy. His lanky stature gives off a nerdy impression. He isn’t afraid to poke fun at himself during his routines. In fact, he often does make himself the brunt of his jokes.

"Yay! We eat fries!"

Believe it or not, Bill Clinton was once "cool." He made appearances on TV. Kids looked up to him. Girls wanted to date him. Guys wanted to be him. He'd make appearances and say things that everyone would love. The fact that Clinton liked fries would make a room go nuts.

“Too old to be a duckling. Quack! Quack!”

Mulaney loves to talk about his past experiences. When working as a temp, he had a boss who said the craziest things. After coming into the office on a rainy day, he called himself a duck. What a funny comparison coming from an old man!

“Hey, can I walk you home?”

John Mulaney’s parents went to college where Bill Clinton went. Clinton supposedly use to stand outside the library at night asking to walk girls home. His old tendencies seem to have followed him into the White House. *cough, cough*

“Hey, Ellen! Because he never forgets a b*tch, ever.”

John Mulaney’s parents were invited to a party for Clinton when he announced he wanted to run for president. Like previously mentioned, Clinton went to the same college as Mulaney’s mother. One night his mother had the privilege of being walked home by Clinton. When Mulaney’s mother, Ellen, went to talk to Clinton, he actually remembered her name.

“And then he ordered one black coffee for himself.”

Mulaney talks about his parents quite a bit in this show. From what viewers gather, Mulaney’s mother is the “cool parent.” She went with the flow and is easy going. Mulaney’s dad is the opposite. He didn’t show much compassion towards John. Imagine your parent pulling up to the McDonald’s drive-thru and ordering the one thing no child would enjoy? Talk about “cold-blooded.”

"You have the moral backbone of a chocolate eclair."

The same man that ordered one black coffee compared John to a chocolate eclair. If that's not the characteristics of a loving father, then I don't know what is. The man really knows how to talk to children.

“Her body is young. Her face is as old as time.”


Petunia is Mulaney’s French Bulldog. He talks about her a little in the routine. She’s a puppy, but being a French bulldog, she's a wrinkly little dog. Much like humans, the wrinkles make Petunia look older.

“It’s just creepy to have an ex out there after things have ended badly. They have a lot of information.”

Mulaney is so right. Your ex is out there with all this information about you. If the relationship ended badly, that information could leak and make for some embarrassing moments.

“What do you do to afford v-necks, Sam?”


Mulaney singles out “Sam” from the audience. He happens to be on his phone at this point in the show. Imagine being called upon in the audience for texting. I’d be a little embarrassed. Would you?

“And they’re like, ‘Partial credit,’ And that’s a whole thing.”

College is all about partial credit. No matter how you answer a question, you get partial credit. Don’t deny this fact. Mulaney is so spot on with this.

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