It was the scariest day of my life. How could this happen to her? Why was this happening to her? Am I going to lose my best-friend? Could the biopsy have come back wrong? These were the questions running through my head as the doctor read from the screen "You have ductal carcinoma in the situ". I looked at the computer screen in disbelief searching for an answer only to validate what the doctor just said to us. My best-friend asked also in disbelief "What does this mean?" The doctor then stated “You have breast cancer”. He said it without empathy, compassion or concern. Why was he so stoic?
My heart started racing a million miles per second, my hands were perspiring and eyes began watering. My best-friend was expressionless but surely frightened. We looked at each-other, and she began to utter "Don't worry about me I'm going to be fine." How could she say that? How is she going to be okay? She has breast cancer! How could she not break down in tears? Was she trying to be strong for me? The doctor never once said let me give her some time to take this all in but instead he said "You should probably start getting your daughter tested early, you’re only 47. If you have a cancer gene your daughter may have it too; here take this paper and go to the surgery department and schedule you an appointment to see a surgeon".
Cancer changed me
We left Harlem Hospital, it was raining and it was cold. That was the last thing that I remember about that day. As I sit here and write this I can see how my best-friend's diagnosis has changed not just her but me too. I realized that I hadn't hugged her since she got her biopsy or diagnosis. It wasn't because I didn't want to, but because I didn't want to hurt her. The biopsy made her sore and I didn't want to squeeze her too hard. Not once since I've been staying with her did I ask her was she okay. I lacked emotional support without realizing it. I was so frightened by her diagnosis that I forgot to display emotion, support her emotionally and love her the same way I did before.
Cancer changed her
A few months ago, I hugged my best-friend, my mother. She wasn't the same full-feeling and soft woman that I had once hugged. My arms wrapped around her but it wasn't the same. My arms couldn't touch each-other when I hugged her before. She lost about 30 something pounds, her hair fell out, and her skin became darker.
My mother told me that she would be okay and, to my surprise, she was absolutely right! "With men this is impossible; but with God all things are possible." (Matthews 19:26)
Here we are 8 months later and she is as strong as ever. Chemo-therapy and a mastectomy and she is still as gorgeous as ever. I used to think my mother was beautiful but now I think she is absolutely angelic.
Faith wins, cancer loses
My best-friend is now cancer free. She had her last chemotherapy on the 20th day of April and surgery two days after Memorial day. Although she lost her hair, breast and some weight, she didn't lose her beauty. She gained an indescribable strength that is exemplary for anyone going through what she experienced. The strength that she exuded has taught me perseverance and that no matter the circumstance I can conquer anything that has been handed to me.
I watched her for 8 months and the thing that's most admirable about her is her confidence and faith. Faith is knowledge in advance! My prayers were answered. God healed my best-friend!
