I would like to preface this article by stating that it does include topics of sexual assault. If you are a victim of sexual assault and feel strong enough to read this article without being triggered, read as you may. For those of you who are triggered easily, I would not suggest reading this article. Thank you.
Note: My friend has given me permission to share her story. However, her identity will remain anonymous.
Sexual assault has broken millions of girls around the world, and it continues every day. Knowing that we live in a world where women and men undergo sexual assaults and violence disgusts me to no end. Knowing that my best friend went through it, makes it even worse.
I was surprised when I heard. I couldn't believe it. She said she had gone out with this guy and they just sat and talked in his car. She didn't want to get physical. She just wanted to talk.
She made that very clear. Unfortunately, he had other plans as he forcefully tried to have her perform oral sex on him.
After struggling to get out of his strong grip, she was terrified and immediately got out of the car as soon as she could.
On her walk home, she felt dirty.
She never thought this would happen to her.
That's the fear that we as women have to deal with every day. We never know what is going to happen to us.
Whether it's wearing a tank top in the summer so we don't sweat to death, or wearing a dress down to our ankles, us women can't ever seem to catch a break.
As women, all we want is to be loved and respected. We really don't ask for much. How hard is it for a man to just look me in the eyes and talk to me instead of paying attention to my breasts? The sexual harassment and violence that women receive on the daily needs to stop.
Luckily, I have never been a victim of sexual assault. I write to you about a close one's past because she's never going to be the same. There are so many women out there just like her and worse who will never be the same.
But she's back. She's better.
Before she had been assaulted, my friend had lost hope when it came to love and relationships. She was ready for something real and meaningful, but last summer was a summer full of hookups and meaningless sex. She wasn't herself.
After the assault, she had lost herself even more. Night terrors and anxiety attacks consumed her. She just couldn't get his face out of her mind.
Can you imagine walking around in fear and never knowing when it's going to stop?
Luckily, one person changed everything. Her boyfriend.
Since the assault, she couldn't even look at a man who wasn't a family member without feeling uncomfortable. But there was something about this new guy that gave her hope.
It had been months since she had even felt comfortable talking to a guy, but after meeting through mutual friends, something clicked.
During the past six months of their relationship, she told him about her assault. He didn't leave. If anything, that made him care for her even more. Trust me, I see it.
To all of the women out there who have been sexually assaulted and have a fear of men or trusting them romantically, I want you to know that life does go on. It can get better.
It does get better.
Amidst all of the evil in this world, there is love and light that shines through. When you find that light, it's going to overpower all of the negativity from your past and in your presence. You'll feel on top of the world.
Looking back on last summer and comparing it to seeing my best friend with her new boo this summer, I just feel relieved. Knowing that my best friend had gone through something like that, breaks my heart. But as I've seen her move on and overcome this, I've seen a stronger woman come out of it. It just proves to me that I can, you can, anyone can get through anything. All it takes is time, faith and self-love.
To you, my best friend reading this, you've changed my outlook on love. I can only hope that your message changes the minds of other women on men whether they've been assaulted or at a loss of hope when it comes to finding a man. You've taught me that the right one really will come around despite your past and whatever has happened in it. You've taught me not to let your scars define you or determine your self-worth and that everyone is worthy of love no matter what.
