If one of your favorite things to do isn't eating, then you're wrong. Now, food is great sober, but it's a bajillion (that's a technical term meaning "a lot") times better when you're drunk. Even though all food tastes better when you've had some booze, some foods just taste the best.
1. The drive-thru Burger
Alcohol gives you this magical ability to believe that food tastes amazing when it probably doesn't. Exhibit A: the drive-thru burger. You go to McDonald's or Burger King on an average day, and sure, their burgers are edible, but you've had much better. However, if you just add a little alcohol to the equation, suddenly you have a bite of heaven in your hands. Nothing has tasted better than that burger, and nothing ever will.
(Please do not drink and drive, get a DD to take you to the drive-thru, or walk your drunk self over there.)
2. Ramen Noodles
For 19 cents a package, ramen is the perfect food for the poor college student. Even though I am 100 percent sure that they're made from plastic, I still find myself eating them sober. They make an even better drunk food, though, because they have a short microwave cook time so your drunk a** doesn't have to wait for forever.
3. Pizza
Frozen or delivery, pizza will be one of the best foods while you're drunk. Pizza is already one of the tastiest things out there, so just add a little alcohol, and BOOM, you're practically taking a bite out of heaven. The only bad thing is, you won't be eating that pizza for 30 minutes due to cooking time/delivery; can you wait that long?
4. Potato Chips
Go ahead, you're drunk, and drunk you doesn't care about how awful potato chips are for you. Eat the whole damn bag. There's no cook time for chips and there's so many delicious flavors to chewse from (see what I did there?). And when you're done, the cleanup is easy! Just lick your fingers and wipe them on your pants.
5. Cheese
Not only is cheese delicious, but it'll actually help you recover tomorrow morning. It has fat, carbs, and protein, which your body needs to help reduce the effects of a hangover. So go ahead, sit there and eat that entire pound of cheese you got from the deli, or eat ten cheese sticks. You'll be happy you did it.
6. Cereal
Despite how bad of a cook you probably are when you're drunk, I'm almost 100 percent positive that you can make cereal with minimal troubles. Your impatient drunk self doesn't have to wait for cereal to cook, so there's a positive. And never forget to drink that delicious milk that absorbed all of the flavors of your cereal; that's liquid gold.
7. Taco Bell
It's cheap, it's fast, and it pairs perfectly with tequila. Same idea as the drive-thru burger, Taco Bell will taste so much better after you've had a few.
8. Breakfast food
If you're feeling up to the challenge and you promise not to start a fire, then make some breakfast food. Eggs, toast, potatoes, and bacon; the whole nine yards. Breakfast food is already the best, so why would you not eat it while you're drinking? And if you're not feeling like cooking, convince your sober friends to take you and your crew to Denny's. You need the breakfast foods.
9. Chipotle you pulled out from the fridge
Seriously, why is this place not open later? They would get so much business between the hours of 11 p.m. and 1 a.m. Anyhow, you were smart and went to Chipotle earlier and saved half of your bowl for later that night (you smart cookie, you). If you haven't tried this before, then yes, please try this at home, kids. Drunk you will thank sober you.
10. French Fries
I hope that while you were at the drive-thru earlier, you remembered the fries. If not, hang your head in shame and drool over a missed opportunity. If you did get fries, however, good for you, and you'll probably down them all in a matter of seconds.
11. More alcohol
Go wild tonight, you party animal. Down some more shots or bong a beer; you're probably going to hate yourself in the morning anyway, so go big or go home. But if you don't want to feel like complete crap in the morning, then drink some water before you go to bed, it'll help.
Happy feasting!
