First off, let me explain fifth wheel for those of you who are unimaginative. Fifth wheeling is third wheeling's lesser known cousin. It's when you are the only single person around two couples. Now this may seem awful, but if you follow these simple guidelines, you can make this experience satisfactory for you and both couples.
You may need some context first so you can base these rules on something. This weekend I was in a beach house on Martha's Vineyard with two couples, total isolation. And no, it wasn't meant to be that way, there was supposed to be another girl. But alas, shit happens.
Rule Number One: when one or both of the couples disappear, do not go looking for them. They do not want you to see what they are doing, and you do not want to see what they are doing. The good part about this is that both couples get to do what they want, and you get to enjoy wherever you chose to be with these two couples without the scarring experience of seeing them naked.
Rule Number Two: Once either or both couples emerge from their alone time, do not mock them about it. This may be the only time they get to be together, and when you see your significant other (or get a significant other) and want to have some alone time you're not gonna want to be mocked directly after "you know what." Another reason to not mock them is that they just got laid, and you sat alone.
Rule Number Three: Do not keep bringing up the fact that you are the fifth wheel. They know it, you know it, it doesn't make it any less awkward for you. In fact, it just points out how awkward you feel about it. Best case scenario, play it off like nothing bothers you and have a great time. (Pro tip: this is easier with alcohol. 21+)
Rule Number Four: Enjoy wherever you are. In any situation that doesn't result in you being fifth wheel, I would probably suggest choosing that, but if it just ends up that way and you happen to be in a gorgeous beach house on Martha's Vineyard, just enjoy it. Like literally, it's not a big deal, you'll eventually be on the opposite side of this.
Rule Number Five: If you do have a significant other, text them a lot and bring them up to the other members of the group all the time so they know you're not a pathetic sap who knowingly went on a vacation with two couples just so you could tag along.
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The Illusion of Creativity
AI-generated music is often marketed as “artistic” or “educational.” But what does it really teach?
- That style can be replicated without understanding.
- That emotion can be simulated without feeling.
- That effort can be bypassed with a prompt.
For young creators, this sets a dangerous precedent. Why learn to play guitar when an algorithm can do it faster? Why study harmony when AI can generate chord progressions in seconds? The risk isn’t just laziness — it’s the loss of depth, discipline, and the tactile joy of creation.
I have listened to several AI-generated music covers. My initial reaction was one of considerable impressiveness, particularly regarding the reimagining of classic pop hits in diverse genres with novel arrangements. Here is one good example a-ha — Take On Me
However, after engaging with several such Ai generated song covers, a sense of emotional detachment emerged, attributable to the perceived absence of human artistry and genuine sentiment, resulting in a technically flawless yet ultimately soulless auditory experience.
Copyright in Crisis
What does the copyright law say about AI generated music, especially in field of music covers. Who is liable for copyright in this case, AI developers, people who used AI to generate music or people who published it on music platforms?
Recent lawsuits show that the music industry is pushing back hard:
- Universal, Sony, and Warner sued AI music platforms Suno and Udio in 2024 for allegedly training their models on copyrighted songs without permission Ars Technica The Lyon Firm.
- They’re seeking up to $150,000 per infringed song, arguing that the AI outputs resemble famous tracks and voices (e.g., Mariah Carey, Michael Jackson).
- These lawsuits target the developers of the AI tools — but they raise broader questions:The legal gray area is training data. Courts haven’t yet ruled definitively on whether using copyrighted songs to train AI counts as infringement or fair use Sites at USC.
But who’s liable?
Role | Legal Risk | Why |
AI Developers | ✅ High | For training on copyrighted material without licenses. |
Users | ⚠️ Moderate | If they intentionally recreate protected works. |
Publishers/Platforms | ✅ High | For distributing infringing content. |
The grey area lies in training data. Courts haven’t yet ruled definitively on whether using copyrighted songs to train AI counts as infringement or fair use. Meanwhile, AI-generated works themselves aren’t eligible for copyright unless a human provides substantial creative input — leaving them in legal limbo.
The Educational Mirage
Some argue that AI music helps people learn genres, production styles, or vocal techniques. But this “education” often lacks context. It’s like learning to paint by watching a printer — technically impressive, but creatively hollow.
True musical education involves:
- Struggle and iteration: Learning through mistakes.
- Emotional connection: Expressing what words can’t.
- Cultural lineage: Understanding the roots of sound.
AI shortcuts bypass all of this. And in doing so, they risk flattening the rich terrain of human creativity into a sterile landscape of algorithmic mimicry.
Why This Fight Matters
This isn’t just about music. It’s about the future of art, storytelling, and human expression. If we allow machines to dominate creative spaces, we risk turning culture into content — optimized, monetized, and devoid of soul.
We must ask: Do we want a world where art is made by machines, or one where machines help humans make better art?
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