As a little girl, it was hard for me to understand who I was...
I remember constantly looking at every adult around me, wondering if they had a grasp of who they were, and what their purpose was in this life.
19 years later, the question still lingers within me, but I am much closer to an answer.
Through the 19 years of experiences that life has blessed me with, I have found that it is the process of figuring it all out, that defines who you are.
You are defined by the relationships, the impactful moments, and your internal compass that you navigate with through life. Every minute of these 19 years, I couldn't have provided you with a strong defining expression of who I was or my purpose, but through these 19 years I have done a greater good, I have lived authentically, and done my best to have God's grace in me. I have seen God in his purest form in so many people, and I have lifted my hands up to him alone with gratitude and with pain. I have acknowledged my compass as him within me and trusted in him when my faith ran weak.
All the while, I didn't know. I didn't have the answers, and even now I don't...
Thats the beauty of it all. All of it. Life isn't about the answers themselves, it is about the process to the answers, it is about the ride that you take while life unfolds in front of you. It is about the relationship you form with others, God, and yourself.
I now find myself looking deep into the hopeful eyes of me as a little girl. A young heart. I can faintly see the way in which I used to view this world, and as I set the picture down, I see my reality. It was nothing how I pictured my life to be, but it is so beautiful.
There were many moments in which I didn't have a choice but to hold on, and it was through those moments, that God did his greatest work using me and my story.
I have fallen in love with my story, every piece of it, with God as the author. I have fallen in love with the absence of answers, yet strength of faith. It is a journey, but one worth traveling.
And one day, we will be able to see beneath it all.