Do you remember the day when you stopped believing? I do. I was in fifth grade and I was simply looking for tape. I was running through every room in my apartment looking for that slick, thin clear piece of tape. Yet, somehow I could not find it anywhere. Then, I saw the big desk in the dining room. There was a drawer all the way at the top, one that I had never explored before. So, I figured I may as well see if there was any tape in there.
I pulled over one of the big dining room chairs and slowly climbed up. Then I pulled open the drawer, and to my astonishment I saw some letters. All of my letters actually. All of my letters addressed to the same person, the Tooth Fairy.
I sat down on the chair. I was clearly dreaming, confused. I stood back up and leaned over to peer into the drawer again. There were my teeth. This could not be, this COULD NOT BE. I sat down pushed the chair back in and ran to my room sobbing. I did not understand, the Tooth Fairy had to be real. What about Santa? To this day, I still believe that I saw Santa Claus in the sky when I was in Argentina. I literally swear by it.
My mother has always said, “If you do not believe, you will not receive.” So, I kept my mouth shut. I did not want to make Santa think I didn’t believe! Especially not so close to Christmas! So, I began slyly dropping hints at my mother until one day I just came out and said “I know that Santa Claus is not real.”
To this day, my mother still refuses to admit that Santa is not real and still abides by her golden rule that “If you do not believe, you will not receive.” However, just because she won’t actually admit that Santa is not real does not mean she has not shown me. Sometimes, I remember when I was younger she would buy things in front of me, after I had declared that Santa wasn't real, and then somehow they would magically end up in my stocking. I still, even this year, am sure that I will receive presents from Santa.
So, if the spirit is still there, why was I so upset when I found out that Santa was not real? To me, I believe it was the end of my childhood. It was the one moment, that I can definitely say, I was forced to grow up. Running around giddily when I lost a tooth was done. I was no longer a little child who could blindly believe in pure magic ... instead, I am now an older girl who chooses to be blind.
