It took a while for it to set in that my sister was going to have a baby. I don't think it really hit me until the day I heard your heartbeat. But from that day, you had me wrapped around your little finger.
You came into this world so fast. It was terrifying. I don't think I have ever been more afraid than the night when you were born. I tried taking your picture as they were wheeling you away, but my hands were so shaky that all I got was a blurred image of this 4lb 14oz little boy, who looked tiny under the mask that was helping him breathe.
You have terrified me almost everyday since then. I am terrified, because right now you are so innocent. You don't know how ugly the world is. You haven't experienced its cruelty or hardships, and you haven't felt that heartbreaks and disappointments that come along with growing up. Right now, your worst days are the ones where you can't have another cookie, or when you can't ride your gator around the yard. Your bad dreams consist of your giant lion coming to life, or your mommy marrying an alien. Knowing that one day you will no longer be immune to all the bad stuff there is terrifies me, and I wish I could keep you hidden from it forever.
You make my worst days great. You make me laugh when all I want to do is cry. You think I am so awesome, and that makes all of the difference in the universe on the days when I feel like I am a total failure.
Being your aunt is the greatest blessing in my life. Unless you are a highly advanced 6 year old, chances are you won't be able to understand exactly what this says, but no matter how old you get or how intelligent you become, you will never be able understand how much you mean to me, or how much I love you.
Love always,
Your "Aunnie"
