So we all know that girl in our friend group. She's the one who is always down for anything. A quick trip to the mall, an unplanned road trip, or staying out all night dancing with you. She is the one you always text when you need a partner in crime and you know she won't turn you down. I am that girl.
I admit to being the "Yes Girl" in my friend group a lot of the time. I am the girl who gets all those texts for last minute plans and I always say "yes." I love being busy and I love that all too familiar phrase, "I can always count on you!" My planner is always full, but being a "Yes Girl" can be a draining and self-neglecting life style. When you get into the habit of always saying yes then you also get into the habit of ignoring the things YOU need to be doing.
Yes, I will go with you to the mall, I'll just write my paper after!
Oh, you want to go get ice cream after the mall? Yes! I'll just stay up a little later to write my paper, no problem.
Party tonight? You don't want to go alone? Yes! I don't want you to miss out because of me, I'll write my paper in the morning!
And before you know it, you are up until 4 AM driving your friends around to different parties/bars and you are tired, you are stressed about your paper, and still somehow the word "yes" creeps up through your throat and into your mouth, up to your lips each time. No matter how much the word "no" is pounding in your brain. In our brains, we know we need to go home and write our paper, but somehow we rationalize in our brains that it will get done. If you are like me, a lot of the time your stuff does get done, last minute, and at the expense of my sleep, eating, peace of mind, and my own fun.
Being a "Yes Girl" means that a lot of my college memories are piggy back memories from things other people planned and I said yes to because I played a part. "The sober driver," "The makeup and hair stylist," "The friend who is coming because I didn't want to go alone."
Being a "Yes Girl" is fun but you forget to take care of yourself and to make your own memories. You need those down nights to watch a movie and you have to prioritize your life. School comes before the mall and sleeping and eating comes before parties.
I am a senior in college and I have made so many great memories, but I have also spent so much time and money doing things that I didn't even really want to do or making plans when I needed to stay home and take care of myself. If I could, I would definitely go back to freshmen year and change a lot of my yes's to no's.
Here is a list of self-checks to help you stop neglecting yourself.
1. Do I have something I need to do?
You come first. REPEAT. You come first. Maybe not in the grand scheme of things but when it comes to trying to figure out your answer to those invites to parties, mall trips, coffee dates, Netflix binges, etc. YOU COME FIRST. Do not say yes to a party if you are tired and would rather go to bed and do not say yes to a dinner date if you are trying to watch your budget. Your friends will not hate you, and if they do then they are not healthy friends. But that is a post for another day.
2. Is this something I want to do?
Do you want to spend $40 on a concert for a band you have never heard of? No? Then don't. Your time is VALUABLE, so don't just fill it up with random things just to have something to put in your planner. Down time is healthy and you can write "Me Time" in your planner too.
So next time you get asked to go do something think about it before you say yes. Take care of yourself and your priorities. Your to do list is more important than someone else's fun time. You will thank yourself later!
Sincerely,
A Fellow Yes Girl
