Prayer is a hard thing for me — especially during the summertime. I’m so focused on work or my friends that when I do take the time to pray it’s rushed and insincere. During the summertime, I not only take a break from school work, I also end up taking a break from prayer. Prayer can sometimes seem like another thing to cross off my list so I’ll quickly mumble a rosary to myself or take five minutes to thank God for my day. I don’t take the time to truly examine my day and tell God about my life — especially when things aren’t going well. When I pray, I’m forced to deal with what’s going on in my life when it’s so much easier to push it down and pretend like nothing is going on. I focus solely on the positive parts of my life and avoid the nitty gritty. It’s hard to be vulnerable, even with God.
It’s easy to give into lies that say, “God doesn’t want to deal with my messiness” or “It’s not even that big of a deal.” There is no problem too messy or too unimportant for God. So often we feel as if we need to be put together when we pray, but in reality we need to be broken open by the one who allowed himself to be broken for our sake. Our wounds will only fester and grow into something bigger if we don’t let God heal us. We need to stop putting our arms out in defense and instead put our arms out in total surrender. God can only heal us if we allow him into our hearts to be healed.
It’s almost silly to not be honest with God; after all, He knows our hearts better than we do. Psalm 139 says, “Lord, you have probed me, You know me: You know when I sit and stand; You understand my thoughts from afar. You sift through my travels and my rest; with all my ways you are familiar.” God knows your thoughts before you even tell Him, so why try and hide them? Instead of forcing God to be a mind reader, allow Him to be your greatest confidant. It brings him so much joy when we choose to tell Him about our sufferings. We’re not only telling Him what’s wrong, we’re telling Him we want him in the depths of our heart.
No problem is too small for God. Often times people will talk about how God is greater than all of our troubles, and that’s completely true. But sometimes we think some of our problems aren’t worth bringing up in prayer. Sure, my roommate made a hurtful comment but it’s petty to tell God. Instead of just telling God what’s going on, I try and move on only to spend most of my prayer time coming back to this little suffering. If something is on your mind, tell God instead of trying to ignore it. Like any good relationship, the small stuff matters just as much as the big stuff. Talk to God about your distractions and give Him your heart layer by layer. Once you give God the smaller stuff, you’re able to focus on more important matters. So many times we filter our thoughts for others, but God wants to hear every thought you have. “When here below a little child begins to talk and utters the sweet name of the Father, with what joy parents press their child to their hearts, for the world holds no greater pleasure for them” (Christ’s Appeal For Love). Let us hasten to the Lord’s heart like little children, babbling our every worry to the one who makes all things new.
