"Every poem before you was me just trying to scratch the words to reach you; to speak you into existence." -Aja Monet
People often find solace in poems, music, and books because they are looking to be uncovered, looking to be spoken into existence. Looking for someone or something to feel the weight of their worry as to tell them that they are not alone. There are many ways to be there for someone, but to truly be there for someone is much different. That ultimate sincerity is what makes the difference.
When you are truly there for someone, you give them a part of you that runs deep. Being there for someone means being invested in who they are, who they wish to become. You care, because you see someone going through troubled waters and your main concern is how to make it easier if not mendable.
You listen with a heart of understanding. You listen, not just to hear or to respond but to fully comprehend. To truly be there for someone requires you to be present; to become attuned to how someone speaks and absorb the reality of their situation.Listen in silence. Sometimes being there for someone means, that you become absent and quiet for a short a while. Other times, it means showering them with words of comfort and encouragement; a genuine vocal embrace. You learn to read between the lines. Sometimes, "I'm fine" can be a call for help.
You learn to identify what this persons wants but can't ask for at the moment, and what they need but weren't aware they needed. Learn to distinguish between soft love and tough love. Sometimes you may need to call them out when they are completely out of line and sometimes you need to be compassionate and put yourself a midst their situation. You need to realize that sometimes being there for someone else requires a lot from you but you should not leave yourself behind. Come to terms with where you are right now, and what is healthy and okay for you to give someone. Realize, that sometimes the person you have to be there for is yourself and that all rules still apply.
Truly being there for someone, comes from a free place. It's natural. It's not forced. It's about being mentally and emotionally there for those who you care about and for yourself as well. Better said, "Sometimes we need someone to simply be there. Not to fix anything, or to do anything in particular, but just to let us feel that we are cared for and supported."
