As I begin, I just want to mention how shy, quiet, and introvert are three completely different personality traits that all have their own strengths and weaknesses. These three traits can accompany one another, but they should not be confused for being the same thing. The purpose of my article is to talk specifically about being shy, but it is important to note that I am also quiet and introverted. Being quiet and introverted influence the way I think and act, along with my shyness.
The only times where I am sometimes not quiet is when I am with friends or family. It is interesting because I can be very social once I get to know people. Meeting new people, however, can be difficult. Having people talk to me first is easier, but life does not always work that way. Other things can be stressful for me too. Little things like making a phone call (even to friends and family), and ordering at a restaurant can feel intimidating. Sometimes I even worry about coming across to new people as rude when in reality I am too nervous to speak. Being shy has brought challenges to little things that are a part of everyday life.
Public speaking at school has probably been one of the biggest challenges I have with being shy. I can manage in small groups, but big groups are harder. In big groups I tend to let others speak as I sit quietly in the background, never volunteering to offer answers. Every year I had a teacher that would try to change this. They would try to get me and other shy students to speak more, but it rarely ever worked. You see, it is not that I am choosing not to speak. Some students may choose not to speak because they do not want to, but it is more than that in my case. I physically get so nervous that my brain starts forming a million different thoughts at once and words begin to jumble in my mouth. There is something completely overwhelming of having everyone pay attention to me at once.
College brought a welcoming change to public speaking. Other than my Spanish class, I no longer had classes where public speaking was mandatory. But college also brought a new challenge. I was leaving everyone I knew my whole life to go to a new school. All of my friends I had from high school went to different colleges, and I had to make all new friends. Freshman welcome week was particular stressful. I had to mentally prepare myself to talk to people. Turns out college may have been one of the best experiences I could have to learn how to live with my shyness. Somehow I was able to start conversations with new people without waiting for them to talk to me first. I still can’t start the conversations with new people all the time, but sometimes is a start.
Being shy is not always easy. So many times I have wished I could stop being shy because I think my life would be easier, but shyness is not something that I can completely make go away. What I can say is I have learned how to better deal with being shy. I learned that there are certain everyday things I would have to just do. For instance, even though I find phone calls to be uncomfortable at times, phone calls can’t be avoided forever. I also learned to accept being shy. There is nothing wrong with being shy and it is a part of who I am.
