It is extremely difficult being an individual whose personality is deeply based in being an empathetic person. I feel as if my life's purpose is to help others, and empathy is crucial to this endeavor. You may be wondering, "Gee, Christian. What is wrong with being empathetic? I don't see the problem?" Well, kids, let me tell ya. Being empathetic is so vital to the human experience...being able to feel for others allows for a deeper understanding. When you can understand what someone else is going through to some extent, it is easier for you to help them in the most effective way possible. Be that as it may, being able to feel so freely the feelings that others feel can be a burden.
I get so intensely and emotionally invested in the lives and emotions of those around me. A very personal part of me relates to projecting a persona of the coldest kind of heart, but I do not have a heart of stone. I feel so fiercely for other people. I want to protect everyone from the cold darkness of the world and envelope them in my embrace, because I struggle to fight a particular kind of emotional darkness within myself. The problem with that is that while lighting a fire to warm others, I all but entirely burn myself out at times.
When someone is sad or angry, I can immediately feel their emotions. On the other side, I can feel happiness from others too. My soul hangs on tighter to the negative emotions though, because I feel like those people need me the most. Many have heard of the phrase "don't set yourself on fire to keep others warm". I would have to politely disagree with this. Being the person who cares way too much can be harmful to you, but the lives that you impact for the better typically outweighs the moments of struggle.
With that being said, you do have to remember to care for yourself all the while. I had such a deep empathetic connection to one of my best friends that I had a severe panic attack in response to their terrifyingly depressive behavior. I would willingly put myself in the fire for other people, but I also have to remember to keep my health in check. You can flame up, but don't burn out. You will be of no use to others if you are suffering as well. In the words of one of my closest friends, "I have to be a better me before I can help us be a better we."
Being the person that cares too much also means that you have really high expectations of other people that are rarely met. You assume that everyone cares as much as you, but the truth of the matter is is that empathy doesn't come so easily to everyone. You are a gem, and your light makes so many other souls shine. Burn as bright as you can, pal. Just don't burn out, and I will try to do the same.
