Growing up I was always pinned as the funny kid, now there's nothing wrong with that. In fact, I enjoy the label. Most people enjoy being around people with a good sense of humor. There is something I can't deny, though.
It's the fact that it isn't always easy being that kid. Normally when you are the funny kid, people remove any idea of you as a person from their view of you. Often people don't see the depth my personality holds. Which is not their fault, I don't expect people to pick up on it. People often dehumanize you and can actually end up stepping on you a lot. They don't see your emotional side because of your humor and they forget that you have feelings just like them. Another misconception they often hold is that your humor is for yourself. Often you get told to be quiet. They often think that the reason you are loud is because you want attention. To me, humor has always been a way to make light the times in life that are difficult. Now my life has been good for the most part, but it has also been weathered by anxiety and loneliness, because of the rejection I have faced. So I figure that I could sit around and pout or make light of life and possibly help relieve others stress around me. Even when I don't feel like making jokes I will do something to bring up the spirits of those around me, because I get that it is hard for others too. I also can often sense when people's spirits are restless or distraught. I could be having a terrible day and humor won't help me but that doesn't mean I can't lift someone else's mood.
Before you paint me as a saint it's not all for others, a lot of times it simply amuses me. Most of my jokes hold little effort and in all honest aren't that good, but I enjoy most of the words I speak and that's enough for me. I often have a hard time getting my feelings out but I never have a hard time, when I am light hearted and am enjoying the gift God has given me.
As much as I enjoy humor, I love to get to know those around me. I am a people person. Whereas I can be introverted, I really enjoy people's presence, and it is very rare for me to not enjoy someone's presence. I often feel that many of my relationships are not that deep. I enjoy joking around but I would rather share my thoughts with that person; laugh or cry with them. It doesn't matter the person, I feel that everyone is just as special, and has just as much to offer. I am willing to spill my guts to anyone, as humans we need to live with our hearts on our sleeves. Our emotions don't make sense to us till they are vocalized and put out before others.
If anyone ever wants to shoot the breeze and or listen to some old records let me know.