Being The Dad Friend

Being The Dad Friend

If you need to cry, please do it somewhere else.
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Through most of my junior and senior years, I was considered the "mom friend." I took care of my friends and looked out for them through everything from break-ups to nail colors. The problem is, a mom is supposed to be there for emotional support and I am TERRIBLE at handling my own emotions, let alone helping others handle theirs.

Since going to college, making an entirely new group of friends and basically starting from scratch, I've gained my own mom friend. She's sweet and amazing and I don't know what I would do without her - but what does that mean for me? Well, I am the dad friend. I look out for you and pick you up when you've fallen, but if you need to cry about it, please do it somewhere else. If you do cry I'll probably just pat your back and awkwardly wait for it to stop.

So what's the point of a dad friend when you can have a mom friend that will be there for you emotionally? You see, we all need that person in our life that will tell us straight out that life goes on and that that boy was stupid anyway. As the dad friend, we won't hover over you or tell you what we think is best for you, making you feel guilty for your mistakes. Don't get me wrong, we'll give you advice and nudge you towards good choices just like a mom friend, but we'll watch you make bad choices and be there when you realize it was a mistake to help you get it back together. Plus, dad friends know how to fix things when you break them, put your TV stand together during move-in, or just do general "dad" tasks because let's be honest, they're the only one in your friend group with a toolkit.

With Father's Day coming up in a few weeks, remember to give love to the dad friend in your group - that spider in your dorm won't kill itself.

Cover Image Credit: Kirstin Sherman

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To The Dad Who Didn't Want Me, It's Mutual Now

Thank you for leaving me because I am happy.
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Thank you, for leaving me.

Thank you, for leaving me when I was little.

Thank you, for not putting me through the pain of watching you leave.

Thank you, for leaving me with the best mother a daughter could ask for.

I no longer resent you. I no longer feel anger towards you. I wondered for so long who I was. I thought that because I didn't know half of my blood that I was somehow missing something. I thought that who you were defined me. I was wrong. I am my own person. I am strong and capable and you have nothing to do with that. So thank you for leaving me.

In my most vulnerable of times, I struggled with the fact that you didn't want me. You could have watched me grow into the person that I have become, but you didn't. You had a choice to be in my life. I thought that the fact that my own father didn't want me spoke to my own worth. I was wrong. I am so worthy. I am deserving, and you have nothing to do with that. So thank you for leaving me.

You have missed so much. From my first dance to my first day of college, and you'll continue to miss everything. You won't see me graduate, you won't walk me down the aisle, and you won't get to see me follow my dreams. You'll never get that back, but I don't care anymore. What I have been through, and the struggles that I have faced have brought me to where I am today, and I can't complain. I go to a beautiful school, I have the best of friends, I have an amazing family, and that's all I really need.

Whoever you are, I hope you read this. I hope you understand that you have missed out on one of the best opportunities in your life. I could've been your daughter. I could have been your little girl. Now I am neither, nor will I ever be.

So thank you for leaving me because I am happy. I understand my self-worth, and I understand that you don't define me. You have made me stronger. You have helped make me who I am without even knowing it.

So, thank you for leaving me.

Cover Image Credit: Pexels

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An Open Letter To The Friend Who Continues To Save My Life

No one knows me like you do.

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From the day we became friends, we have always had nothing but support for one another. Although we have only really been friends for about seven years now, I feel as if you have always been a part of my life. You know me just as well as you know yourself, and I understand you in the same way I understand my own thoughts and feelings.

You have never made me feel pressured, insecure, or unappreciated. The mutual respect we have for one another is unmatched. We can talk to each other about anything; from some of the most trivial topics to entire life philosophies. We have grown and matured together, and I couldn't be more proud of the person you are today.

We don't always agree on everything, and I always appreciate your fresh point of view, but I have never felt more in sync with another person than I do with you. We share the same birth month, the same age, the same home town, the same anxieties, and many of the same attitudes and values.

I feel as if you know exactly when I want to be alone and when I need company. Since we are both introverted, we understand that the other person needs time to recharge. And when I'm sitting alone with nothing to do, I always get a text from you asking to hang out.

In some of my loneliest, most vulnerable moments, you have been there. When I question how many true friends I really have, you are always sure to make your love for me known.

Through high school, and now college, we have experienced so many life-changing events together. Some that have taught us extremely valuable lessons, and others that have shown us incredible pain and how to grow from our lowest moments.

I want to thank you for showing me what life-long friendship looks like. Thank you for always understanding me and never putting too much pressure on me. I see an incredible future for both of us no matter where each of our lives takes us.

We will always share a unique connection that cannot be separated by any distance. But, for now, I'm glad you're only one text or phone call away.

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