Being Someone's Doormat

Being Someone's Doormat

A Tragic but Eye Opening Experience


It’s sometime in June of 2011, you’re on a long walk with her; going nowhere fast. The kiss of a sweet summer breeze caresses you and wafts some of her perfume straight to your olfactory cells. You love this about her, among other things of course. Things like her laugh, smile, the way her voice seemed to tickle your eardrums every time she spoke. You stride down a dimly light street, hand in hand, not a care in the world. She’s talking but you can’t hear a word. There’s a question on your mind and you just can’t seem to eradicate it. You make a decision; utter what you consider the most important words of your 16 years of existence. “Will you go out with me?”. As you speak its like an out of body experience. Like you’re watching someone else in a very intimate moment. You’re sucked back into your flesh suit, year ears are ringing. You just see her smile, you know the answer, but its not enough. You need to hear it. She embraces you, and you her. Intoxicated in the oxytocin fueled moment you feel like one being.

This is the beginning.

Rumors. She told you to not worry about them, but their reoccurrence and consistency has ignited your speculation. You ask her. Your question yields a defensive response. A defensive response produces yet another argument. Another bullshit argument you think. Why? Guess I’m not getting laid this week you think to yourself. You snicker at your own humor, not because you’re full of yourself, not yet at least. But because you’re the only person thats allowed to make you laugh anymore. You had forgone that right for her, in an effort to avoid what always happens. But you love her. You’d do anything for her. You’ve come this far so why end it now? This is how relationships work after all; sacrifices.

This is the middle.

The texts you found on her phone, pictures, Facebook messages, whatever else there is. You’ve opened Pandora’s box and couldn't feel more petrified. Nauseated by distress, your hands become cool and clammy, you start shaking, there’s an all too familiar crevasse where your stomach once was. You think you’ll vomit, or will you just start screaming? She’s sleeping now. Think damn it think! You put her phone down after one last reconnoissance mission to confirm what you saw was in fact real. You take a seat and breath in heavy. You realize how dry and cold the air is as it grazes your olfactory cells, it feels like you're inhaling sand. This time there’s no hit of perfume to straighten you out. The sun has set some time ago and darkness has begun to envelope you and the world you know. You place your head in your hands, you are alone.

This is the end.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

These Superfood Beauty Products Show Kale And Matcha Work For SO Much More Than We Thought

Just another summer's day with a cold glass of kombucha on my face.

I've been vegan for about six years now, so a love for fresh vegetables and superfoods has now become a core part of my being. Don't get me wrong. I love my indulgent, creamy pastas and truffle fries more than anyone. But I keep most of my focus on eating clean and healthy so I can indulge guilt-free.

But I'd say about a large part of my diet has always, unknowingly, included superfoods. Being Indian, lentils, beetroot, garlic, ginger, and whole grains have been core essentials on the family dinner table since I could digest solid foods.

Keep Reading... Show less

Now that college is around the corner for most if not all young adults, students once shook by a pandemic now have to shift their focus on achieving their career goals. As if we thought we had it together already! As an NYC girl, I have always seen myself as a hustler, hungry to advance my career in journalism by having one skill: working hard.

Keep Reading... Show less

Kourtney Kardashian has decided to leave "Keeping Up With The Kardashians" after nearly 14 years and although we saw this coming, it breaks our heart that she won't be there to make us laugh with her infamous attitude and hilarious one-liners.

Kourtney is leaving the show because it was taking up too much of her life and it was a "toxic environment" for her.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

We Asked You How You Felt About Resuming 'Normal' Activities, And Some Of Your Answers Shocked Us

The New York Times asked 511 epidemiologists when they'd feel comfortable doing "normal" activities again, considering COVID-19. We asked our peers the same thing, for science.

Last month, the New York Times surveyed about 500 epidemiologists asking about their comfort level with certain activities once deemed normal — socializing with friends, going to the doctor, bringing in the mail. That's all well and good for the experts, but they are a very niche group, not the majority of the population. What do "normal" people feel safe doing? In certain states, we've seen how comfortable everyone is with everything (looking at you, Florida), but we wanted to know where Odyssey's readers fell on the comfort scale. Are they sticking with the epidemiologists who won't be attending a wedding for another year, or are they storming the sunny beaches as soon as possible?

Keep Reading... Show less
Disney Plus

Millions of musical-lovers around the world rejoiced when "Hamilton," the hip-hop-mixtape-turned-musical harder to get in to than Studio 54, came to Disney Plus.

For those who had the luxury of being able to watch it in person and rewatch it with us mere mortals on our screens, the experience was almost as gripping as sitting feet from Lin-Manuel Miranda himself. From the stunning sets, graceful choreography, witty dialogue, and hauntingly beautiful singing, the experience was one even my musical-averse family felt moved by.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

Keto Is All Fun And Games Until You're Undernourished And Almost Pass Out

Keto is just another extension of diet culture that boasts rapid weight loss, but at a steep price.

Photo by LOGAN WEAVER on Unsplash

There has been a Keto diet craze going around in the past couple of years, with many of its followers claiming significant weight loss. With any new, trendy diet claiming miraculous weight-loss, one starts to wonder what exactly is happening behind the curtain. The keto, or ketogenic, diet is a very low-carb, high-fat diet that claims to help the body shift its fuel source from carbs to fat. In the medical community it has been prescribed to patients with uncontrolled epilepsy to reduce the frequency of seizures, but other than that there is little conclusive evidence to other potential benefits.

Keep Reading... Show less
Facebook Comments