Recently, I read an excerpt explaining that we draw people in based on the vibes we give off. This explains a lot of the things we see in the world that make us kind of, for lack of a better phrase, a bit jealous. The pretty, bubbly blonde finds the seemingly one guy in New Jersey who is handsome AND kind. We assume that she has super power skills -- she can cook, drink beer and in general, enjoy those Saturday nights with the boys, for the boys.
But if this idea stands true -- that the people we attract are “vibrating at a similar frequency” as ourselves -- there is a true science behind it. The positive attract positive and that pushes the idea that “opposites attract” so far out the car window, that it is rolling down the highway behind us, never to be seen again.
And, for those of us who are social introverts, or antisocial extroverts, if you will, this would explain so much.
Exactly what is means to be a social introvert varies greatly from person to person, so I can only speak for myself. And as far as speaking for myself goes, the experiences that correlate directly to this type of personality outweigh any “normal interactions” I’ve had tenfold.
I can only assume that is because those who I attract are total weirdos. But here’s the catch, so am I. I need to spend my time with people who can understand my methods of thinking, those who totally get it when I crawl into bed after being in a crowded room, smushed with people and just need second to breathe. The people who I can go out with (because I have to) and complain about how many people there are, and how I want to go home, and not feel bad for a second, because I know said person feels the same way completely.
The hard part is when the social aspect comes into play, on the nights that my idea of a good time is going out. You spend the evening getting dressed with your friends, doing your hair and makeup and wow, you’ve never looked better. You go to get in the car and all of the sudden it feels like a stomach bug has taken over. You’re only thought now is holding down your lunch. It takes you a couple of minutes, but you finally realize that the only reason that you’re feeling this way is due to the fact that in your truest form, you absolutely hate parties because you absolutely hate crowds.
And this feeling comes and goes throughout your days. Those of us who can relate each have certain situations particular to us that flip that switch, turning you into the person who has accepted that she may very well spend her life yelling at children to “get off of the lawn,” in her retirement community home with multiple cats, all named after Shakespearean characters.
In those crazy cat lady moments, even answering a call from work could seem like one of the most nerve-wracking tasks to accomplish- and when it happens, it probably is. Not only is it stressful as all hell, but it makes you a weird kind of miserable. The kind of unhappy that you take out on others, only stressing the importance of this idea that you attract others similar to you, and if not people similar to you, then people who admire you.
Nonetheless, I’ve never wanted to succeed more in life than after I accepted the fact that I absolutely am a “social introvert.”
The problems arise from the discomfort that we (those of us who know exactly what I’m talking about) experience around people- especially those who have a say in our future. But once that part of the “becoming successful” process is over, you’re free to complete your work by yourself, with no interest in happy hours or parties. And in that way, you have a kind of upper hand.
There is no burning temptation to go out with your friends and waste the night away. The only temptation you’re fighting is crawling into bed and calling it a night at 8:00 PM, with your dog (because you won’t allow cats to take over just yet) to watch Stranger Things for a third time in order to prepare for the Fall season, with a bowl of pumpkin spice ice cream and those people whose vibrations match your to a T.
